Here in South Korea I have a lovely bunch of friends, we meet
every Sabbath for church and spend the day together. They are all very
opinionated and we discuss anything and everything. At length, often loudly.
Sometimes it becomes difficult to finish a sentence. However terrible that
sounds it actually isn't. I consider these wonderful people to be my family in
Korea.
One of the things we often discus is
marriage, particularly the finding of suitable partners for marriage,
since we are all (with the exception of one couple) single and once people hit
their mid twenties that is an interesting subject. Actually it is interesting
before then, but once you hit your mid twenties you're old enough to consider
doing something about it.
I have some definite ideas about the
finding of said partner, but my friends here in Korea all tell me I'm wrong. I
thought I would list them here so that the rest of the world - or at least my
four faithful readers can have the chance to tell me I'm wrong too.
It is my thought that I worship a God who
knows everything, He knows the future, He knows the past, He knows the number
of hairs on my head, and he knows me, inside and out. He understands why I do
the dumb things I do, and amazingly with all of that He still loves me and
wants the best for me.
Now God also set up marriage to be a
blessing for men and women and He gave us guidelines for choosing suitable
partners, if we follow those guidelines closely then we will be safe in our
choice of marriage partners.
So as I see it for a Christian there are
two options for choosing a marriage partner:
1. Follow the guidelines God has given, find
somebody you consider to be suitable, who you love, and if they feel the same
about you, then get married.
2. Skip all the above and just ask God to
bring your partner to you when He/God is ready. Making it very clear that this
is the person you are to marry.
(3. And obviously for non-christians there
is a whole host of other options open to them.)
All my friends are going with Option 1.
However it seems to me that option 2. is more trustworthy.
Option 2 is also rather pragmatic, I mean
why spend my every waking moment trying to determine if so and so or such and
such 'likes' me? and if they do, are they 'the one'? When I have a God who
knows all about me, and all about every potential partner for me on the planet.
Why not save myself all the angst and let Him choose the guy, and bring him to
me, or me to him, when the time is right? I trust God more than I trust my own
judgement, and I know He wants the best for me AND for the guy He chooses.
Plus, (pragmatic again,) I have better things to be doing with my time and my
brain. (I do confess to slipping into that thinking pattern sometimes, drives
me nuts, so NOT peaceful. I don't like it.)
Now I don't think there is anything wrong
with Option 1. God gave us these guidelines exactly to allow us to choose for
ourselves if we want to and to keep us safe. I also know that I am rather
easily pleased and tend to be content in most situations, so I could go with
Option 1 and I would probably be happy - as long as the guy I ended up with
didn't beat me, etc.
However, why settle for good when I could
have best? Maybe that sounds a little selfish? But seriously why not? God is
happy to help, in fact longing to help. So why not let Him? Why not allow
God to showcase His power and love in my life?
Like I said before there is nothing wrong
with choosing Option 1, it is just that Option 2 seems so much more sensible,
and safer.
Now let me clarify about Option 2, I DON'T
mean I'm waiting around for God to drop my future partner down my chimney like
Santa Claus. What I mean is that instead of concerning myself looking for a
husband I'm busy, living a full life, working to show people how good God is
and that He is coming back to this earth soon. Basically getting on with life
and living as closely to God as I can. And most importantly protecting my
heart, not letting my heart belong to anyone except me and God. (Yes, this is
possible, it involves refusing to think along certain lines regarding eligible
men and keeping them focused on God instead.)
Then when/if the time is right God will
somehow connect me with the person I am to marry. I don't know how He will do
that, there are a million potential ways, and God will make sure I know - and
the guy knows - that we are ones He has planned for each other. I'm refusing to
worry about that too. God knows how to get through my thick skull, He does it
regularly on other topics, I know He can do it for this too.
Basically, I'm not hunting for a husband,
but I am open to marriage as a life path if God made it clear that that was His
choice for me.
And if I never marry? Well I'm ok with
that! I have had a wonderful life to date, and I wouldn't change very much of
it. Even the hard times. (What I would change is all the doubting and arguing I
have done with God over the years.) Why spoil a great life by making a bad
choice in the marriage department? Why not leave the choice to God and continue
having a wonderful life?
