When I'm doing mindless tasks like cleaning, or washing dishes, or ironing, or if I'm sitting on a train I like to listen to other peoples ideas. Sometimes I listen to TEDtalks, sometimes to music or comedy news shows on Youtube, and often to sermons.
Today I was listening to this sermon Is It OK To Doubt? One thing that I love about listening to sermons that doesn't happen when I listen to other stuff is that it triggers new thinking that forces me to re-evaluate myself and my relationship with God.
These are today's thoughts:
1. As humans we often view our relationship with God as a contract. I obey and do what He asks, and He makes sure I have a good life, and answers my prayers by giving me what I ask for.
2. Generally we think we are good people.
3. So, when things go wrong, when we don't get the things we prayed for, we get angry with God. "I kept my half of the contract, I did XYZ, and I didn't do PQR. So why aren't you doing your part God? Are you a liar? Are you even real?" Left to spiral out of control this thinking can lead people to abandon God. This is because the contract view causes me to respond from duty or from the motive of selfish gain, and this fosters entitlement in my heart. So when God does not come through with His end of the bargain I feel ripped off, cheated and angry. I want to abandon the contract and go and seek my own way to self satisfaction. So I walk away from God. Or maybe I stay, but feel rebellious because I feel that God asks too much and gives too little.
I know I have indulged in this kind of thinking much too often. And have gotten perilously close to walking away from God once or twice. Thankfully God is merciful and He brings about events that show us truth if we are willing to accept it.
Today I saw what for me is the answer to those doubts. But I'll need to think about this often so I don't forget!!!!
NOTHING is required of me except my belief, which leads progressively to trust, willingness, and love. That means I am entitled to nothing. Everything I receive is a gift from the one who loves me.
I believe that He exists and He loves me. This leads me to trust that, no matter what appearances may say, all things that happen in my life are ultimately for my good, that they come from the hand of a loving friend, Saviour, and God. Then I am willing for Him to work out His will in my life, for Him to burn out the bad stuff in my character, and replace it with His good stuff. (The proper Bible terms are death of self and sanctification I think.) And finally, I respond to the love He gives me with love.
Notice all of these things are heart things, they are not actions. Belief that God is real and God is good leads to trust that He will guide me through life on the path that is best for me. Trust leads to willingness to surrender to the process He uses to remake me in His image, even when it's painful. And, His care and love makes me respond with love, and that fosters a spirit of gratitude towards Him in my heart.
Today I recognised a lot of that contract thinking in my own mind today. But thankfully I can also see how God has been trying to lead me to the other way of thinking. It's taken a loooooong time because I'm not very smart when it comes to God/life stuff. I keep trying to do that definition of crazy - repeat the thing that doesn't work and hope for a different outcome...
