I made an amazing discovery!! I have intended to use 'Now Is The Hour' as the last song for my January Challenge from the begining because it is sung in New Zealand so often as a going away song and plus I just love it!
However, I discovered that it was actually written in New Zealand by a Maori woman!!! Must be NZ's first platinum song :-)
The history of the song is ...
"The origins of ‘Now is the hour’ can be traced back to the ‘Swiss cradle song’ by Clement Scott. This popular piano piece was released in 1913 by the Australian music company of W.H. Paling and Co. In New Zealand it was quickly adapted for the song ‘Po atarau’ and used to farewell Maori soldiers departing for the First World War.The song was modified in 1920 by Maewa Kaihau who wrote the verse ‘This is the hour’. [Which of course is the popular one that everybody recognises.] By 1935 it was known as the ‘Haere ra waltz song’, and it became a favourite as the last waltz at dances and farewells. It was heard often during the Second World War as soldiers were farewelled.‘Now is the hour’ highlights the blending of Maori and European traditions to produce a song that could be understood and appreciated by both the Maori and European communities.In 1945, British wartime singer Gracie Fields visited New Zealand and heard the song performed by a concert party in Rotorua. Her driver, an Auckland dance band leader, taught her the song, and in July 1947 Fields sang her version on a BBC radio programme. Her recording of ‘Now is the hour’ became a huge international hit. Then, in February 1948 a version by Bing Crosby entered the United States charts. It was Crosby’s 42nd (and, somewhat appropriately, last) single to reach the top of the pop charts."
And a bit more History about the woman who wrote the famous part ...
"Emira Maewa Kaihau (b.1879 - d.19??) was born Louisa Flavell at Whangaroa, in Northland. On her father's side she is said to have descended from French nobles fleeing the French Revolution, and from a musician from the court of the Austrian Emperor. On her mother's side she was a direct descendant of Nga Puhi chief Hone Hika of Ngati Rahiri and Ngati Rehia Hapu. Maewa was the second wife of Henare Kaihau, (of Waiuku, near Manukau), the Maori Member of Parliament representing Western Maori until 1920, and she bore him six daughters and two sons. Maewa was musically gifted; she played the piano, sang, and also taught music. She was also well known for reading her poetry. The Prince of Wales visited NZ in 1920. At a ball in Rotorua, Maewa's eldest daughter was one of a group of teenage girls who, in bare feet and piupiu, entertained the Royal entourage, and the girl formed an attachment with one of them. But he had to depart with the Prince. So Maewa quickly wrote this for her daughter, using the well-known Po Atarau tune as a basis, but with some of the opening phrase lowered, as shown here. This was published privately in the early 1920s, with ornate Maori translations added to the original English verses."
So in the interest of the fact that I am turning over a new leaf and resolving to be in bed with the light out by 10pm every night except Saturday for the month of February, (really I am - and starting tonight too!!) I thought this video would be a good one.
TV Kiwi saying good night.
When I was a kid this ran every night at midnight to end transmission from TVNZ. Regardless of the fact that is laced with errors, (Kiwi's are nocturnal, they don't go to sleep till sunrise, they sleep in burrows in the ground and cats would rather eat them than sleep with them) the animation has become an iconic piece of Kiwiana :-)
So yesterday I was reminded of the song "Welcome To My World" that was used in an ad for a car in NZ, I think it was a toyota ... but I can't find that ad. However, in my search I did find some other late great ads. Tomorrow I'll go back to real music ;-)
Here are a few of the best...
Ghost chips, Leeegend ...
And the classic ... Trumpet settles the issue; of togs or undies??
My pick for today is Crowded House and 'Don't Dream it's Over.' This one was released in 1986 and it was big. LOL, loving the stylez in the video - soooo 80's with hair and shoulder pads and everything.
The 80's really was an ugly era for clothes and hair! But, the music was something else!!! From Crowded House I've drifted over to Roxette and now I'm listening to power ballades :-D Been a long long time since I listened to some of these ... loving them! Again, lol.
I chose today's medley of songs for the pictures as much as the music, both are classic sights and sounds from around Aotearoa. Now that I've gone and made myself homesick I think I'll go shopping.
A while ago I heard a friend give a worship on Hosea, about how our
lives do not always turn out the way we expect but that God always has a plan.
I enjoyed the worship and gleaned some new ideas but it didn’t really grab me.
A few
weeks later I was reading the book of Hosea and I suddenly realised why; in the
story of Hosea and Gomer ‘I Am Gomer.’
I just
don’t identify with Hosea. Gomer
on the other hand, I understand, I know what it’s like to be driven to do
things that you know are destroying you because of the pressures that build up
in your mind. Because you can’t see any other way to survive.
We all develop ways of coping with the pain and
stresses in our lives. These coping mechanisms are generally enjoyable, give us
pleasure, and suppress and stifle pain. Then they develop into the things we
habitually turn to for comfort and hope, they become our idols; the things we
just can’t live without. But, invariably these coping mechanisms turn out to be
destructive. If left to ourselves, our idols, these coping mechanisms, will
destroy us. God even warned us about this phenomenon Hosea 8:4 ... With their silver and gold they make idols for themselves to their own destruction.
Gomer
was a prostitute, (Vs 2 “Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms.”) Gomers mother was very
possible a prostitute too. It’s likely that Gomer didn’t know who her father
was and she probably grew up in a very dysfunctional family (Vs 2 “whoredoms.”)
I picture Gomer as young, beautiful, full of life,
a party girl trying to suppress her past hurts, trying to grasp a future,
trying to have fun. She didn’t understand the demons who drove her – or perhaps
she did, all too well. Either way she had found some techniques for quieting them.
When she was drunk, with a man, dancing, she didn’t feel the pain, the urgency.
She didn’t understand that these protective defences were destroying her, or
perhaps she did. Either way she couldn’t stop.
We don’t really know how she ended up as a prostitute,
all we know for sure is that by the time Hosea comes along she was a ‘working
girl.’
In my imagination I see Gomer taking the chance
Hosea offers her, thinking she can make a clean start and be a fine upstanding
wife for this prophet of God. But she takes the demons that drive her into her
marriage, in her mind. She tries really hard to be a good wife but the pressure
builds and she doesn’t know how to handle it so she slips back into her old
patterns of coping, I imagine she felt guilty and hated herself but she didn’t
know how else to deal with the pain inside and she couldn’t tell Hosea because
he couldn’t possibly love her if he knew what she really was like inside. But
he finds out anyway because she gets pregnant. And he keeps the child and cares
for it, and loves it, and her guilt grows, and that happens three times.
Eventually the pain and the guilt get too great and she leaves him for good and
goes back to the old way of life.
Maybe she convinces herself that she’s having a
good time and that she doesn’t want Hosea, maybe she doesn’t. But at some point
she hits rock bottom, no one wants to purchase her favours, in fact she can’t
even give them away. So she sells herself as a slave, and she has to live with
the knowledge that she created her own destruction.
But the thing is Hosea knew she was going to be unfaithful before
he ever married her. God had told him to take unto himself “children of
whoredoms” (vs 2) The
Bible tells us Gomer’s children were conceived after her marriage, she came to
him without children. Hosea married her knowing she was going to ‘stray’.
Hosea searches
for her, finds her; sick and dying, a slave, chained to a wall perhaps, he sees
the worst that she is and he pays her ransom, the price for her freedom. He
gathers her up in his arms and he brings her home.
My
story is not as lurid as Gomer, it’s not laced with obvious sins or vices. My idols,
my destructions are/were socially acceptable. But I recognise the relationship
between Hosea and Gomer, it’s the same one I have with Jesus.
I did
not find Jesus, I had no interest in finding Him. He pursued me. I can’t say
there was a particular instant when I was converted, there was a day when I
gave my heart and life into His keeping, but it was the result of a long and
gentle process.
I was
raised in an Adventist home, both sides of my family have been in the church
for generations.
My
parents, both biological and step, did the best they could given the
limitations of their own woundedness, they certainly never intended to hurt me
and for the most part I had a happy childhood.
When I
was 5 my Mum took my siblings and I on a week long holiday and did not bring us
home to our Father for 9 months. 18 months after we came home my parents
separated forever. After the separation my father dropped all contact with us,
we had to ring him on our birthdays and Christmas if we wanted to talk to him. As an adult I can look back and understand that his actions was the only way he knew to deal with his own pain, that he didn't mean to hurt me, but as a child it still hurt.
Every school holidays we would wait and wait for Dad to ring and invite
us to come and visit him, but he never did so about two days before the
holidays we would ring our grandparents and ask them if we could come and visit
them for a week, they always said yes. Then we would know that we would see Dad
at least once in the holidays. Dad remarried when I was 9 – he did not invite us kids
to the wedding – didn’t even tell us that he was getting married, we found out
the day before from our grandparents.
About
this time I started to close down emotionally. I remember our cat was run over
and killed, my brother and sister were balling their eyes out, so I pretended
to cry because I knew I should feel sad but really I didn’t feel anything. I
think the last time I truly cried was when my Mum’s mum died when I was 12,
after that I don’t remember crying about anything until I was well into my
adulthood and God was beginning to heal me. But of course you can’t block out
the bad feelings without blocking out the good ones too. So for a long time the
only time I felt anything at all was when I was immersed in a book.
I was
baptised when I was 11 or 12, partly because I loved Jesus, partly because I
wanted to go to heaven and escape hell, partly because I wanted to make my Mum
and Jesus happy and partly because everybody else was getting baptised around
the same age.
Just after I turned 13 my Mum remarried and we moved
again. My Step-father was newly divorced and harboring a lot of hurt and anger. There was lots of
fighting in our house. I dealt with this in three ways,
1.I simply ignored my stepfather unless he spoke
directly to me because then I didn’t have to deal with his anger etc. (For the
record he never laid a finger on me, it was all verbal – just loud.) This lead
to me pretty much treating all men the same way. If I ignored them then I won’t
be frightened. Didn’t really work, I was frightened anyway.
2.I used food to suppress the fear and sadness. The
enjoyment of pleasurable taste would stifle incipient emotions that were trying
to escape. This eventually lead to health problems that nearly killed me.
3.I escaped further into the world of books – lots of
stories. Stories are less scary than people and always have a happy ending.
Mum has her own personal
relationship with God, and growing up we always had morning and evening worship. I would
participate as required, I knew all the correct answers and to all intents and
purposes I looked like a good Adventist girl. But in my heart I had no
connection to God. I knew and believed that Jesus died for me but it made
absolutely no impact on me. I knew that in my heart, in my safe private fantasy
world, I was breaking all of the 10 commandments a hundred different ways and I
didn’t care, I certainly didn’t feel sinful.
Mum was desperate for us to have the same kind of
relationship with Jesus as she did. And I remember her trying to bribe me to
read certain books that she felt would encourage me to go along those lines. Or
she would take the books I was reading and throw them away because she did not
approve of them. She also recognized early that I have a body that gains weight
very easily so she would try to ‘subtly’ control what I ate. This together with
the fact that I blamed her for spoiling what was essentially a happy (if
fatherless) home by marrying my stepfather, bred anger,
resistance and rebellion in me. To all appearances I was a good daughter, but
quietly I went and did what I wanted as a way of exerting my independence,
releasing my anger in little rebellions. I would eat all manner of things she
did not know about, I got my ears pierced while she was away for a weekend, and
read things I knew she would not like, hiding them under my homework or in my
lesson pamphlet, etc.
At the end of high school I decided to go to Avondale
College because it meant I could leave home – Now there was no-one to police
whether I went to church or not so I didn’t. And, there was no-one to police my
eating so I went into full binge mode and started putting on weight very
quickly.
I saw
my friends get married and have their first children and I would watch their
husbands with those babies. I was the oldest of my siblings and there seemed to be a
special bond between these fathers and their oldest child – regardless of if it
was a boy or a girl. One father once explained to me that his oldest was the
child he knew best – he knew he would come to know the others just as well as
they developed and grew but, and he shrugged...
I met
people who knew me when I was an infant, they told me that Dad used to take me
everywhere – he was an electrician in a farming community and apparently he was
always taking me out to the farms he worked at. I don’t remember any of that.
As I
said earlier, I did not find Jesus, he pursued, he stalked me. Thank God for
praying Mothers!!
Before
I ever accepted Christ as my Saviour He was working in my Life:
1.He got me a job teaching at LAC
when I graduated from my teaching degree, in answer to the first prayer I had
prayed in something like 10 years, a job I didn’t want. I got there and it was
as if the students were trying to behave well and be good because they liked
me, not because I had any control over them – and I didn’t to start with. I
learned about unconditional love, that people could love me just for who I was
not for what I did.
2.He sold my TV in a miraculous
way, removing a major obstacle to Him being in my life, proving He was
interested in me, and then He cleared up misconceptions I had developed about
God and salvation as a child.
3.He gave me a new metaphor to
see Him as; not as a Father, because that meant amiably distant and
disinterested, not as a mother because that meant anger and rebellion, but as a
husband and a lover, the thing I wanted most but was also most afraid of.
4.He taught me to trust Him to
only ever do things for my good, I learned to see that even in the hard things
I am blessed beyond measure.
5.He used my struggle with addictions to teach me the process of
overcoming sin and ultimately He freed me from that temptation.
6.He was patient when I refused
to give up things I loved more than Him. He listened when I shouted and swore
at Him and told Him to get lost and He wasn’t offended. Instead He orchestrated
circumstances to show that my only safety was in Him, not in those things I
loved more than Him, He showed me that those things were my destructions, and
then He began freeing me from them.
7.He taught me to feel again; the
good, the bad and the ugly, the pain and the joy. Then He began healing the
hurts, removing the ugly and showing me how living with Him made everything
beautiful.
Now in actuality Jesus work on me wasn’t a nice tidy process like the list above, things overlapped, and some of them He’s still working with me on.
Somewhere after number 2 in the list above I gave my life and heart back to God. Yielding was the hardest and the easiest thing I have ever done, to give up on trying to protect oneself and allow someone else to provide that protection as they see fit is very scary, but the relief from always having to be strong and carry your own burdens is immense. When it was done I wondered why I had not done so years ago.
When
I finally yielded to God He began to heal my broken bits. Over the last few
years God has removed the anger and rebellion I had towards my mother, removed
the bitterness I had towards my step-father, and healed the wounds my father
unwittingly inflicted. I get on quite well now with my step-father and in the
last few years my Father has begun to contact me on my birthday
voluntarily, and to invite me around to visit when I'm in Auckland.
Now I have a heart that is not empty, it feels, both
the good and the bad, but since I learned to surrender what I mainly feel is
joy and peace. He
taught me that I do not need to fear anyone when He is with me.
When I
compare the woman I am now with the girl I was when I began teaching there is
no comparison. I do not ever want to be that person again. I can’t go back, so
the only way for me is forward, regardless of the cost. And, looking back I see
that as Jesus leads me into deeper and deeper surrender the cost is minimal for
what I’ve received, the only things He has ever asked me to give up are the
things that harm me and come between us.
That
doesn’t mean I always get it right, in fact it seems I get it wrong much more
often than I get it right, but He is patient and gentle and I am learning.
Gomer
means ‘to complete’ or ‘to finish’. We don’t know what happened to Gomer and
Hosea after Hosea purchased her and brought her home, I like to think she
learned to trust Hosea and found the love, understanding, healing and
forgiveness she was searching for, that they were happy together and blessed by
God in their old age. That she was ‘completed’, ‘finished’. (The Bible doesn’t
say that happened, but it doesn’t say it didn’t either.)
For
me, I’m afraid God still has a long way to go with me, I still argue and fight,
sometimes I still run from Him, but I don’t go far because I’ve also learned
that I can’t live without Him, that I can trust Him and that, like Hosea with
Gomer, He seen me chained to a wall as a slave, he knows the worst of me and He
still loves, desires and pursues me.
I live by the promise found
in Philippians 1:6(NIV) Being confident of this, that He who
began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of
Christ Jesus.
A few
years ago, I came across a Name book that actually
had my name in it – with the Gallic spelling, until then I had gone with the
meaning of Catherine. I discovered that my name means ‘perfect.’ My second name
is Anne which means ‘grace’. This is an exact description for my relationship
with God, he gives me ‘perfect grace.’ Just like Hosea ransomed Gomer, Jesus
ransomed me, knowing I was going to sin, to stray, but in the space created by
his perfect grace I have room to grow, to learn, to heal. And one day I will be
completed, healed, sinless, finished.
Today is the 9 month anniversary of my arrival in Korea. I have totally and thoroughly enjoyed my time here in Korea but sometimes I feel like I've dropped into Bizarro World of Sienfeld fame - Yes I did watch quite a few episodes, very strange people. LOL. I blame one of my old flatmates for introducing me to them, not sure which one, probably Whitson. He introduced me to 'The Britus Empire' and 'Ripping Tales' too
Anyway in honour of Bizzaro Day I'm posting 'How Bizzare'. Not my normal type of music but I actually like this piece. It was a 'one-hit-wonder' for the 90's band OMC and is rather good :-)
Just to balance yesterday and show how far New Zealand's music industry has come, here is the song Parihaka sung by Tim Finn of Split Enz and Crowded House fame singing with the band Herbs.
For my non-Kiwi friends, Parihaka was a self-supporting community in the second half of the 1800's. It housed about 2000 dispossessed Maori in Taranaki. Lead by Te Whiti they used peaceful non-compliance as a way to try to gain justice.
One example of the non-violent methods employed by the people of Parihaka is that when the constabulary came to remove them from the land they were meet by singing and skipping children who offered them food, rather than by militant people intent on violent resistance.
The village was destroyed and the people dispersed throughout the country, however Parihaka has became a rallying point in later generations to people who support justice for all regardless of the cost.
My friend my friend I hate to see you suffer Events conspire to bring us to our knees My friend my friend You've taken this the wrong way Rise up defend yourself never give in
Look to the sky the spirit of Te Whiti The endless tide is murmuring his name I know Te Whiti will never be defeated And even at the darkest hour His presence will remain
I'll sing for you a song of Parihaka
Te Whiti he used the language of the spirit Then stood accused a madman and his dream He saw the train go roaring thru the tunnel He heard the voice travel on the magic wire But Te Whiti loved the silence of the river He watched the dog piss on the cannon's wheel
I know Te Whiti will never be defeated And even at the darkest hour His presence will remain I'll sing for you a song of Parihaka
One day you'll know the truth They can't pull out the roots Come and take me home To weep for my lost brother
They gather still the clouds of Taranaki His children's children wearing the white plume So take me for the sins of these sad islands The wave still breaks on the rock of Rouhotu
And when you taste the salt that's on your pudding And when you taste the sugar in your soup Think of Te Whiti He'll never be defeated Even at the darkest hour His presence will remain
I'll sing for you the song of Parihaka Come to Parihaka Weep for my lost brother The spirit of nonviolence Has come to fill the silence Come to Parihaka
So I'm going to start this post by saying first that I had family on both sides of the Land Wars in Taranaki in the 1860's and I'm equally proud of all the various races that make up my ancestry.
Second I'm posting this in a spirit of fun, so please don't be offended, just enjoy the song as the bit of humorous Non-PC NZ Music History that it is.
As a kid I loved this song for its melody, its rhythm and beat and the way the words just roll off the tongue. The cousins and I would all beg our Uncles to sing it to us at family gatherings!
For my non-Kiwi friends 'puha' is a kind of salad green that grows wild in NZ and 'Pakeha' is the Maori word for anyone who is not Maori. It is most commonly used to refer to anyone who is of British descent, but used correctly it can equally refer to European, Asian, African or any other '...an' you can come up with. Essentially it means 'other people.' While the word 'Maori' means 'ordinary or normal people.' I really like this, that when foreigners first came to NZ they were immediately recognised as people - different, but people nonetheless.
If you want to look up any of the other Maori words in the song here is a link to the Maori Dictionary.
Bumped into this on YouTube while looking for something else. Loved it!! Decided it was going to be today's contribution. Will save the something else for another day.
This video is made entirely from the sounds of New Zealanders enjoying themselves!!
The fact that it's an ad for Cadbury ... well it is the best chocolate in the world ... after Guylian Trufflina anyway!
Sir Howard Morrison singing 'How Great Thou Art', in English and in Maori. He has always been one of my favorite New Zealand singers. Amazing voice!!!!! (Sad, I didn't know he had died until just now, happened while I was living in Australia, 2009, which would be why I missed the announcement.)
LOL, found this memorable selection from the irrepressible Billy T James, 17 January 1948 - 7 August 1991. It's been forever since I listened to him! Love the giggle!!!!! :-)
Billy T was one of the most successful international New Zealand entertainers of the 70's and 80's, famous for his skits and singing. People remember him with much fondness and hilarity.
He changed his name from William James Te Wehi Taitoko to Billy T James because, in his own words, 'it was something the Australians could pronounce.'
Here he sings 'We Want To Wish Yous A Maori Christmas.'
Melting Pot :-) I stumbled across this one today, had totally forgotten it, but it was very big in New Zealand when I was in high school.
The formation of the band that preformed this cover of 'Melting Pot' is one of those lovely serendipitous stories. 5 artists, all successful performers in their own right, preform an impromptu item together at the NZ Music Awards in 1986, a representative of CBS is so impressed they are given a contract to form a band. That band was, 'When The Cat's Away' and it was the original girl band, formed five years before spice girls. They had several hit songs and successful albums.
Was fun to watch the video of their performance, sooooo 80's!! I used to think that 'big hair, big sleeve' look was soooo wonderful - and the T-shirt with jacket look, totally Don Johnson from Miami Blues. LOL Too funny!!!
Now don't get me wrong, I do believe in marriage, I just don't believe in the Disney version; "Eyes meet over crowded room, Girl/Boy knows HE'S/SHE'S the ONE, Love conquers all, and the beautiful couple lives happily ever after." And, the alliteration in the title was just too good to pass up :-) as was the allusion to the Gerald Durrell book.
In the last few days at least 5 of my friends on Facebook have posted links to this article, "You Never Marry The Right Person." On reading the article my first impulse was to agree - sounds sensible after all. But, then I thought about it and discovered I disagreed with almost everything! And, then I thought some more ...
In this blog post I plan to elaborate on at length on my thoughts. I'd love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts but please keep in mind that this is all coming from an Old Maid who has observed a lot of marriages, successful and other wise, but has yet to turn theory into practice.
The plan is to cover the topic in three parts:
1. My general thoughts about marriage.
2. The article.
3. My thoughts about the article.
My General Thoughts About Marriage:
So I don't believe in Disney's idea of love and marriage ...
First; my thought is that the whole "eye's meeting over crowded room" thing is lust, plain and simple. 'Mmm he looks nice ...' Or to be more precise, attraction, and there is nothing wrong with attraction as long as you don't let it grow into sin (James 1:14-15). In fact I think it would be wrong to marry someone that you're not attracted to! However attraction/lust mustn't be the foundation for a marriage, and in the movies it often is. That attraction/lust is often misnamed as love.
Second; the most important thing to consider when choosing a partner is character, because it is the character you have to live with, the person will get old and droopy and lose their good looks, character is much harder to change. And, there is no way you can know a persons character from an 'eye meeting.' To learn a persons character takes time, time to sift through image to find truth. After all everybody is good at acting and projecting the image they want you to believe, so time is needed in a variety of situations to see what the person is really like. Therefore, "knowing he/she is the one" from an 'eye meeting' is an illusion.
Third; 'love conquers all,' I think this is the biggest Hollywood lie of them all. If love conquered all then there would be no divorce - ever, because everybody who gets married thinks they're in love at the time. However, as we know, divorce is rife, so loved died - it was conquered, rather than being conqueror. I believe/suspect the reason for this failure of love is actually because Hollywood's definition of love and God's definition of love are quite different.
Holywoods definition of love is equal to lust, 'he makes me feel good, I want more of that.' This definition has been accepted by most people in the world hook line and sinker, because people like to feel good, and most people are controlled by their feelings. I believe we must learn to control our feelings, not be control by them, reason must be the boss. If two people go into marriage with Hollywood's definition of love then they are going to have to work very very hard at being married, because from my observations there are many times when marriage does not feel good. So in all likelihood people who base their love experience on feelings are going to find that their love dies.
God's definition of love is 'to lay down our life for a friend.' (John 15:13) Jesus demonstrates this definition every moment of his life. If both people in the marriage are focused on making the other person happy, regardless of their own feelings, then both people are going to be gifted with happiness - the happiness generated by doing good things for someone else and the happiness given to them by their partner. Two people who go into marriage with Gods definition of love have the opportunity to create a little piece of heaven on earth.
The foundation of any marriage must be God - a marriage should be a trinity, rather than a twosome. When both people are individually committed to pursuing a relationship with God then they can not help but grow towards each other, because as they individually grow closer to God they will grow closer to each other as well.
The Article:
The basic premise of the article is that 'no two people are compatible,' not ever!
First, the article states that people spend to much time thinking about compatibility. That previous generations did not worry about this and that in their search for compatibility people have set their standards too high because people are looking for self fulfilment in marriage - 'what can I get' rather than 'what can I give.' Then, because their standards are too high, people get bogged down looking for a compatible partner that basically cannot exist.
The article gives the following reasons for why people aren't compatible;
1. Marriage changes people, so the one you thought was 'the one' can turn into someone else after marriage and turn out not to be 'the one' after all.
2. We are all sinful broken human beings who are selfish and destroy each others happiness.
It concludes by saying that marriage is painful and wonderful at the same time because it is a reflection of the gospel, the gospel shows us the truth about how terrible we are and that Jesus loves and accepts us regardless and that this love is transformational. The article states that the hard times drive us closer to God while a good marriage gives us a place to experience this kind of transforming love on a human level.
My Thoughts About The Article:
Now in defence of the article I must say that what was posted to the website is just an excerpt from a larger book, it is likely that the book in it's entirety addresses some of the things I disagree with ... I'd love to get my hands (and eyes and brain) on it.
I agree with the authors conclusion - marriage should be a space where two people give each other the opportunity to experience the transforming love of God on a human level. This is only possible if each person in the marriage already is walking with God in their own personal life, when the marriage is in fact a trinity, God, husband, wife.
However I disagree with many other things!
First, the whole 'no two people are ever compatible' philosophy. The article makes it sound like it doesn't matter who you marry, any one person is as good, or as bad, as any other because nobody is compatible. I agree there will always be differences and potential for conflict, but some people are more different than others. Some people will find it easier to live together than others because of personality, interests, and outlooks on life, etc. To just go marry anyone because you feel like you love them is just plain irresponsible as far as I'm concerned. When those initial 'love/lust' feelings wear off there needs to be something solid to base the marriage on, shared faith and purpose, interests, deepening friendship, respect, as well as chemical attraction.
Yes, I agree there is in all likelihood no 'perfect' match for me, however there are matches that are better than others, and I believe that God gives His best to those who wait on him. (Psalm 147:11The LORD favors those who fear Him, Those who wait for His loving kindness, Isaiah 30:18 But the Lord longs to show you his favor. He wants to give you his tender love. The Lord is a God who is always fair. Blessed are all those who wait for him to act!.) Plus, I've been praying that God will grow my future husband (God knows who he is) and I towards each other now, before He brings us together, so that when we do come together we will fit each other like a hand and a glove. And I know God answers prayer!!
Second, Peoples standards are too high, the authors seem to indicate that people should not have any standards (I really suspect they don't mean this at all, however since all I have been able to read is this snippet I will respond to it.) I agree the excuses mentioned in the article are ridiculous, they are based on self fulfilment - Hollywood's love, not God's love. But, this does not mean that standards should be abandoned all together, rather we should set them higher, we should have God's standards not man's standards.
God's standards include things like a humble teachable spirit, a contrite heart, a yearning for God, a love for Gods law and a desire to keep it, a determination that by the grace of God all known sin will be removed from the life and the knowledge that love for God will come above love for any other thing in the persons life - including the spouse God gifts them with. (That's the place where Adam fell, he loved Eve, the gift, more than he loved God, the giver.) These examples of God's standard seem impossibly high but God has promised "My Grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
I know some of you, my friends, are thinking, 'Cat, be realistic, this is why you are 40 and still not married.' Well maybe so, however I love my life, yes, marriage would add a new dimension, another layer of adventure to it, but if it is God's plan that I remain single then I would rather be single and happy with God than go my own way, make my own choice and be regretful. I've seen too many bad marriages to want to take the risk of stepping into the biggest adventure of them all without God's express approval that this is what he has chosen for me. I've seen His hand too clearly in my life, protecting me from making wrong choices in this area, sometimes in spite of myself, to quit allowing Him to lead me now. I believe that, while, as Jesus told us, there will not be marriage in heaven there will however be marriage in the new earth - just look at all the prophecies in Isaiah for example, so if God doesn't bring me to my husband before Jesus comes in the clouds then I'll get to meet him in the new earth. In the mean time, while I wait I pray that God will turn me into a person who meets those standards I've described above.
Third, people can't be compatible because marriage changes them. True, marriage does change people, but does that change have to be negative and cause distance to come into the relationship? Surely, if the couple are committed to following God then those changes will do what God designed, bring them closer together?
Fourth, I agree we are all sinful human beings, but two people who God has redeemed, who are in the process of being transformed into His image, who are daily seeking to become more like God in character, will help God in the redeeming, transforming process as they come to God first and each other second, for love, forgiveness and unconditional acceptance. So instead of destroying each other they will help to refine and build each other up into God's image. This doesn't mean marriage will be easy, but it does mean that when things go wrong the problem is not between you and your partner, it is between you and God.
In Conclusion:
Yes, I'd like to get married, but only if I KNOW that the person I'm marrying is the person God has planned for me. If/when I marry it will be a God thing from start to finish.
Tonight I'm sharing one of my favourite songs by one of my favourite singers. Hayley Westenra singing Pokarekare Ana. It doesn't get more New Zealand than this. A classic and beautiful Maori love song that is instantly recognised by almost anyone in the country.
Turns out it was used as the theme song of the South Korean Movie, 'Crying Fist.' Fancy That!
At this website is everything you could possible want to know about the song :-)
One thing I'm really enjoying about this Music Hunting business is all the new things I'm learning. For example I always thought Malvina Major was Australian, but yesterday while I was checking a couple of facts about Kiri Te Kanawa I discovered that actually Malvina Major is a Kiwi, born and breed!!! (From Hamilton) So in light of this great reclamation on my part I'm giving today's slot to her.
Here is Dame Malvina Major singing something in Italian. Not exactly my kind of music, but a good example of hers!
New Zealand, Where everybody's Welcome ... but 'you'll never be a Kiwi till you Love our Watties Sauce!' (I miss Watties Tomato Sauce - that will definitely be finding it's way into the Suitcase when I come back home in July!!!)
Love this song - It is interesting how much more 'Kiwi' I am when I'm overseas. For example, I was soooo much more interested in the Rugby World Cup this year than I ever have been in my life before. In fact I suspect that if I'd been home I'd have actually been something of a 'Rugby-Grinch' LOL!! Being overseas and missing all the fun made me so much want to be part of everything - I followed the scores most earnestly, although I never actually watched a game ... just as well we won!! :-D
New Zealand's first Diva, Kiri Te Kanawa, was held up as the epitome of success when I was growing up. A Kiwi who had a truly awesome gift and had 'made it' in the Mother Country - England - and Europe.
I've been privileged to hear her sing live a few times and she has an amazing voice! Here she is singing one of my favourite songs "You'll Never Walk Alone."
Mmmmmm ... so this is only three day's late. However as the saying goes "Better late than never."
For my Facebook friends you will know that I have just changed schools. For my non-Facebook friends, "I've just changed schools." What does this mean? I've moved about 25 minutes closer into the heart of Seoul as the Train chugs, I'm teaching at a new Institute - still the same company, just a different branch and I'm now the coordinator. That's the equivalent of a HOD in a high school. Has been a very very busy week - and I have to confess to regressing to some of my old bad habits re not enough sleep and too much work ... however today is a new day - during which I have mainly slept and done not a skerrick of school work - and tomorrow I am promising myself to go back to being balanced!!!
The paragraph above is by way of giving an explanation for why this post is belated. Sleep deprivation. (In fact Friday night after vespers I ended up going to sleep on the kitchen floor while listening to my two room-mates talk at length, I did wake up from time to time to add hopefully intelligent things to the conversation ...)
Today's Music Pick is 'Ten Guitars' of Engelbert Humperdinck fame. Now I know that this song is not exactly original New Zealand Music, but it is 'Chill Out' Music and became very very popular in NZ. I have many happy memories of sitting around camp fires, or in hot pools singing this song with whoever else was sitting enjoying the heat.
Today's New Zealand music pick celebrates the humble gumboot. This was one of the things that amazed me when I arrived in Korea. I hadn't been here long and the rainy season was launched, I discovered that gumboots could actually be a fashion item.
I grew up being familiar with gumboots like this, the foot wear of the working man, woman or child. Good for enumerable occasions, from milking (with Murry) to drinking a quiet cup of tea on the veranda at the end of a hard day.
Fashion Statement gumboots are not just at the 'other end of the stick' from these, they are in fact on a completely different stick!!!
Imagine these in a cow shed ... not entirely practical ...
... or these ...
... or any of this selection!
Taihape - Gumboot City - 'World Famous in New Zealand' for being very cold in winter and great place to stop after you get through the desert road. (Brown Sugar Cafe - nom nom nom!) And, for its yearly Gumboot Tossing Championship. They honoured the humble gumboot by installing this sculpture ...
However the Gumboot Song pre-dates all the footware above, plain or fancy, life sized or giant, worn or tossed, because as they discovered long ago, 'If It Weren't For Your Gumboots Where Would You Be?'
Today's NZ Music comes from the iconic NZ Comedian Fred Dagg - from whence comes the local idiom, "He's a bit of a dag!" Used to refer to someone who is rather funny - approaching the Dagg standard in fact :-)
We Don't Know How Lucky We Are!
Of course you have to be a Kiwi to understand all the jokes!! But Google is great - however just to get you started here is a link to the legend of Maui discovering New Zealand.
For today's song I've decided on 'Wagner's Bridal Chorus' also known as 'Here Comes The Bride.'
Now I'm sure you're wondering, 'How is that song linked to New Zealand?" Well I grew up in New Zealand and almost every wedding I've been too had the bride walking down the aisle to that tune. In my memory the processional always seems to follow a distinct pattern. First the Groom and his Groom's-men would stand up from where they had been hiding and go and array themselves nervously at the front of the church, facing the main door. Next the organist and/or other musicians would strike up some decorative piece of music and the Bridesmaids would prance down the aisle, vainly attempting to keep time to the music while also maintaining whatever fancy footwork the Bride had prescribed. Each Bridesmaid would be met by a Groom's-man and led away to stand picturesquely in a corner. Then there would be a dramatic pause in the music or some attention seeking cords and the organist would swing into their best rendition of "Here Comes The Bride," all the guests would stand up and turn to face the main door and in a swirl of white the Bride would appear on her Fathers arm to be led down the aisle to meet her lover to start a new life together with him.
Why am I thinking about weddings today? Well it's like this ...
This morning the verse for my Level 5 class was "And I saw the Holy City, the New Jerusalem coming down from God out of Heaven like a bride dressed for her husband." Revelation 21:2
I started thinking ...
My favourite thing at a wedding is the smile on the Grooms face when he first sees the Bride in all her finery standing at the end of the aisle facing him. That smile just gets bigger and bigger as she walks down the aisle toward him.
Having seen a large number of my friends get married I know the amount of effort and energy that goes into selecting the dress, getting the hair, the make up, the nails, the tan, just right. Generally there is not a blemish anywhere from the skin out because the Bride wants the Groom to be delighted with her. To desire her. To think she is the best, most beautiful thing he has ever set eyes on.
That's the picture the Bible gives us of the New Jerusalem, a beautiful women who has been made even more beautiful by love, going to meet with her lover, Jesus. To make their home together on the New Earth.
That's the picture of the love we see between Jesus and the church, His Bride. But it's even better, because the person who has made the Bride beautiful is not the Bride or her maids, she has been made gloriously beautiful by Christ, her husband and redeemer. He found her when she was His enemy. (Romans 8:10) He took the consequences of her actions upon Himself and He died for her. Then after He was resurrected, He purified and beautified her and promised to be with her forever. And once she realised exactly what He had done for her she loved Him, because He first loved her. (1 John 4:19)
That is where the Bride gets her beauty, from her glorious Husband and Saviour, Redeemer and Friend. And somehow that makes the picture of the Groom's smile all the more poignant.
