The Topic Of Marriage Again - AKA Finding A Marriage Partner

Here in South Korea I have a lovely bunch of friends, we meet every Sabbath for church and spend the day together. They are all very opinionated and we discuss anything and everything. At length, often loudly. Sometimes it becomes difficult to finish a sentence. However terrible that sounds it actually isn't. I consider these wonderful people to be my family in Korea. 

One of the things we often discus is marriage, particularly the finding of suitable  partners for marriage, since we are all (with the exception of one couple) single and once people hit their mid twenties that is an interesting subject. Actually it is interesting before then, but once you hit your mid twenties you're old enough to consider doing something about it.

I have some definite ideas about the finding of said partner, but my friends here in Korea all tell me I'm wrong. I thought I would list them here so that the rest of the world - or at least my four faithful readers can have the chance to tell me I'm wrong too.

It is my thought that I worship a God who knows everything, He knows the future, He knows the past, He knows the number of hairs on my head, and he knows me, inside and out. He understands why I do the dumb things I do, and amazingly with all of that He still loves me and wants the best for me.

Now God also set up marriage to be a blessing for men and women and He gave us guidelines for choosing suitable partners, if we follow those guidelines closely then we will be safe in our choice of marriage partners.

So as I see it for a Christian there are two options for choosing a marriage partner:

1. Follow the guidelines God has given, find somebody you consider to be suitable, who you love, and if they feel the same about you, then get married. 

2. Skip all the above and just ask God to bring your partner to you when He/God is ready. Making it very clear that this is the person you are to marry. 

(3. And obviously for non-christians there is a whole host of other options open to them.)

All my friends are going with Option 1. However it seems to me that option 2. is more trustworthy. 

Option 2 is also rather pragmatic, I mean why spend my every waking moment trying to determine if so and so or such and such 'likes' me? and if they do, are they 'the one'? When I have a God who knows all about me, and all about every potential partner for me on the planet. Why not save myself all the angst and let Him choose the guy, and bring him to me, or me to him, when the time is right? I trust God more than I trust my own judgement, and I know He wants the best for me AND for the guy He chooses. Plus, (pragmatic again,) I have better things to be doing with my time and my brain. (I do confess to slipping into that thinking pattern sometimes, drives me nuts, so NOT peaceful. I don't like it.) 

Now I don't think there is anything wrong with Option 1. God gave us these guidelines exactly to allow us to choose for ourselves if we want to and to keep us safe. I also know that I am rather easily pleased and tend to be content in most situations, so I could go with Option 1 and I would probably be happy - as long as the guy I ended up with didn't beat me, etc.

However, why settle for good when I could have best? Maybe that sounds a little selfish? But seriously why not? God is happy to help, in fact longing to help. So why not let Him? Why not allow God to showcase His power and love in my life?

Like I said before there is nothing wrong with choosing Option 1, it is just that Option 2 seems so much more sensible, and safer. 

Now let me clarify about Option 2, I DON'T mean I'm waiting around for God to drop my future partner down my chimney like Santa Claus. What I mean is that instead of concerning myself looking for a husband I'm busy, living a full life, working to show people how good God is and that He is coming back to this earth soon. Basically getting on with life and living as closely to God as I can. And most importantly protecting my heart, not letting my heart belong to anyone except me and God. (Yes, this is possible, it involves refusing to think along certain lines regarding eligible men and keeping them focused on God instead.)

Then when/if the time is right God will somehow connect me with the person I am to marry. I don't know how He will do that, there are a million potential ways, and God will make sure I know - and the guy knows - that we are ones He has planned for each other. I'm refusing to worry about that too. God knows how to get through my thick skull, He does it regularly on other topics, I know He can do it for this too. 

Basically, I'm not hunting for a husband, but I am open to marriage as a life path if God made it clear that that was His choice for me.

And if I never marry? Well I'm ok with that! I have had a wonderful life to date, and I wouldn't change very much of it. Even the hard times. (What I would change is all the doubting and arguing I have done with God over the years.) Why spoil a great life by making a bad choice in the marriage department? Why not leave the choice to God and continue having a wonderful life?

Esther

Like I said a couple of blog posts back, I've been rereading Esther - Not very quickly because I keep getting sidetracked by thinking. Which is really not sidetracking because the whole point of reading the Bible is to stop and think.

This morning I was reading in Esther chapter 2. There are two points that I found interesting.

1. She gets 'taken' to the palace, which suggests it wasn't voluntary. But instead of fighting against what has happened to her she accepts her new situation, she stays kind and does her best in these new circumstances and as a result she wins the favour of the eunuchs who were in charge of looking after her and preparing her for her encounter with the king. So this suggested to me,  that we (I) also need to accept whatever situation we (I) find ourselves (myself) in and ask God to protect and lead and then continue to be kind and loving to the people around us (me).

2. The servants of the King provided all the cosmetics, the clothing, the jewellery, the beauty treatments, and whatever else was necessary for the women to be made as attractive as possible. Esther trusted the servants of the King and allowed them to choose for her. Which is sensible, seeing as they actually knew the King and she didn't. As a result Esther won the ultimate 'Bachelorette' competition and was made Queen. By Analogy, we (I) need to trust the leading of the Holy Spirit and do what He directs us (me) to do through the Bible. So that we (I) can win favour with God and win our (my) place in Heaven.

I am thinking that if we follow these two principles that we will not only please God and win Heaven, we will also have happier lives here on earth.

KinderSurprises

I'm not sure if I mentioned on here what my job is this time around in Korea. Just in case I didn't, I'm working in a kindergarten. A very exceedingly new and interesting experience. I have six little girls who I try to teach the basics of English to for two hours everyday. I suspect you will be hearing a lot more about them. It is a new school, so while they are growing their classes I also teach some of the older children, that is also fun.

Now finally after two months my kinders are starting to be able to communicate little things to me. It is such a feeling of accomplishment when we manage to understand each other on something that is outside of the routine classroom stuff. Like today they managed to tell me that they have a small iguana at there normal kindergarten - the one they go to before their specialised English, ie me!

Anyway, I also discovered today that even at their young ages they have learned the art of flattery and sucking up.

A few weeks back we were doing the face for our weekly theme and I took my glasses off to show them my eyes - they are green, which is incredibly rare in Korea - Korean's all have black/brown eyes, and most foreigners have either brown or blue eyes. (Strange because green eyes are relatively common in NZ - or maybe it is just my family...) Anyway that apparently intrigued them because whenever a new student arrives (there were only three then) the first thing they tell the new student about me is that I have green eyes.

So today, they come into class and start saying "Teacher off" and making motions with their hands like they are taking their imaginary glasses off, so I obliged and took mine off. They looked at me for a moment and then said "Teacher beautiful." And then they all held out their hands and shouted in unison "Sticker."

I nearly fell off the chair laughing and I did not reward the sucking up with stickers. But I did tell them that they were all beautiful too.

The power stickers is a marvellous thing!