Nature Vs Nurture

I've been house sitting for the last two weeks and for the first time in a very long time (years and years) I've allowed myself to watch too much TV. I've been filling my head up with detective nonsense, all that lovely scientific CSI stuff. Problem is, you can't watch the science without seeing the evil the science is supposed to catch.

Now it's midnight, my body is buzzing from tiredness and I'm afraid to go to sleep because I know I'm going to have nightmares. Why didn't I think about consequences before I watched 6 hours straight of murder detective type programs??? It's not like I didn't know ... That's why I stopped watching them in the first place. When you start dreaming you're the CSI person and there is a psychotic killer killing people just so they can leave you messages in blood ... Well when you start dreaming that every night, it's time to stop putting rubbish in your head. Wish I'd remembered that earlier ...

In a bid to stay awake I thought I would blog about the nature vs nurture debate.

The last line of the last detective show I watched spoke to the hopelessness of the fight against our own natures, that we can never change, that in fact it is not even desirable to change and that we should simply accept who we are and live with it, live with both the good and the bad we find in our hearts. Now the show didn't actually say all that, but carried to its logical conclusion that is the message that was given. And it made me think.

Nature vs Nurture, normally this debate is about genetics but I want to take a different slant on this tonight. I'm thinking good and evil. However I think my thoughts apply to both takes on this debate, genetics and morality. Because both deal with the perception of inevitability and free will, determinism or choice.

What is my nature? I know my heart, it is filled with not nice things. All those impulses and desires that I keep a tight leash on because they are just evil. Only sometimes the leash goes limp and the evil slips out in words and actions. Is that my nature? Is it possible to change?

Some people will tell me that indeed that is my nature, the desire to do evil is who i am, and that even those desires i have to do good come from selfish motives. Those people say that my nature is sin. I was born in sin, so I am a sinner, and a sinner I will remain until the second coming of Christ when I am to be miraculously remade as a saint. If I follow that view then it is a hopeless battle for me to try to change. In this argument nurture has no place, all I can do is say in the words of Popeye, "I yam what I yam." Who am I to think I can overcome the sin in my life? All I can do is hope I am strong enough to control it, and that I won't do too much damage to myself or others in the process.

In genetics this is the same as blaming my hereditary for all my problems; "I have the fat gene, I can never be slim so why bother? Just accept it and enjoy the food." Or for someone else; "I have the alcoholic gene so I might as well drink myself to death now and make it on easier on everyone." People are looking for genes for everything because then they can blame their DNA for their problems and sit back in a kind of self satisfied pride and say 'It is my genes, I can't change my nature, I'm sorry it's hurting you but I can't change, so I'm going to accept and enjoy it - whatever 'it' might be."

This is an incredibly soul destroying philosophy on life, and it is one that many people have chosen so that they can give up the struggle with themselves, "It's my nature, I can't change, stop making me feel guilty."

On the other hand there are people who say, 'No, your nature is not evil, your nature is your tendency to love self and your desire for evil activities because they make you feel good." I love food, it tastes good and it calms and suppresses a part of me that makes me feel bad. Food is my drug of choice to escape from the realities of life. Is it evil? Yes, when my eating choices are destroying me then those choices are evil. Is it my nature? Well yes, my love of and desire for food, especially sweet, salty and fattening food, is definitely my nature. Can it be changed?

Now I happen to know that my desires are rather fickle, much of what I want changes depending on what I have put into my mind and body most recently.

This second view leans heavily towards nurture. It says, you were born with a love for evil but you can change. This view gives place to choice, to freewill and to hope. It tells me that with appropriate nurture I can change my nature.

I believe it is the second of these views which is correct. I'm not going to go into all the reasons why I believe that right now, but I will give the most important one; in the Bible it is very clear that God expects us to overcome the sin in our lives and to be sinless before Jesus returns. If God expects it then it must be possible.

In genetics there is an exciting field of study called epigenetics. Epigenetics is the study of how the environment effects our DNA and turns genes on and off. It is possible to have a gene and never have it expressed. To have a cancer gene but not get the cancer because your environment has turned off that gene. It is possible to have the fat gene and not be fat because I have trained my body to desire only healthy food and hate the unhealthy food. It is possibly to rise above my genetics and be more than my DNA.

In the same way it is possible to rise above my evil, selfish, pleasure seeking nature. So why do so many people struggle with this? Why do we not see more people winning victories and overcoming their own personal battles with the evil and destructive things they love?

The answer is that we are trying to do it ourselves by gritted teeth and determination. But, gritted teeth and determination only go so far, they change the outer behavior. They do not change the heart, they do not change the nature, they do not take away our love for our destroyers.

Consider, it is impossible for our genes to turn themselves on and off, it is also impossible for us to change our own natures. Our genes are turned on and off by a power outside of the DNA, by the power of the environmental choices we make. What we choose to put into our bodies. In the same way, changing our natures, our destructive loves and desires, must be done for us by a power outside of us. Just like a plant that can't cultivate itself we can not nurture ourselves, we need a gardener to cultivate and nurture us.

So how do we change? The answer is Jesus. By looking at Him we are changed to be like Him. Sinless and glorious, and helpful to ourselves and others, rather than destructive.

How do we look at Jesus?

1. Pray and ask God to show us Jesus in all His goodness and love.

2. Read about Him in the Bible.

3. Contemplate, what does this story show me about Jesus and His character? His goodness? His Love?

4. Ask God to change you to be like Him.

5. Don't look at your own evilness, instead continue to contemplate Christ's goodness.

6. When the impulse comes to do something good surrender to the impulse and do it, no matter the cost. And when the impulse comes to resist doing something bad, surrender to that impulse too, no matter the cost, turn away and find something else to do instead.

7. When you fail, and this is a learning process, so at times there will be failure. When you fail, turn back to Jesus, tell Him where you went wrong. Ask for forgiveness and start again.

8. Never give up. It doesn't matter how many times you have to start again, as long as you keep trying, you are coming closer to your victory. Each time you win you become a little more like Jesus, and each time you fail you learn one more thing to help you win next time.

As long as you keep looking to Jesus He will keep changing you. And one day you will run out of things that need changing, there will be no more loves for sinful, evil, destructive things in you - or me. This is the process of nurture that Jesus, the gardener, uses to change our natures and one day we will be perfect.

It is possible to rise above our genetics and it is possible to rise above our natures. All you have to do is ask.

Thinking About Zombies ...

So currently I have all this time on my hands and I have been thinking about getting back to writing my book.

Now those in the know, know that my book is my attempt to tell the story of the universe through the eyes of an angel called Carelle she is trying to determine who is truly good, God or Lucifer? 

That line of thinking caused me to start thinking about death, which lead in due course to Zombies.

The Bible tells us in Genesis chapter 3 that God told Eve that she would die the same day she ate the fruit. Only she didn't die that day, she died around 900 years later, assuming she lived about the same length of time as Adam.

God doesn't lie. It's impossible for Him to lie, when He speaks what He says is created, so He can't lie. Just saying, it makes it true. Even if it wasn't true for eternity before He spoke.

So we have a problem, God who can't lie said Eve would die the same day she ate the Fruit. Contradiction! She died a long long time later - say 328,500 days later if she lived to be exactly 900 years old.

How to resolve the contradiction??

So I was thinking, God has a different definition to death than we do. For Him it is not biological death. Jesus described the little girl who died as being asleep, Matthew 9:24, while everybody else laughed at him and said no she is dead! For God death is defined as a separation between God and creature, God and man. What we call death, God calls sleep.

So from God's point of view Eve died the instant she disobeyed God and ate the fruit, resulting in her being separated from Him. The rest of her 'life' was simply the continuation of biological life until her body wore out and she slipped into the death of sleep.

Now consider Zombies, they are horrific creatures who have lost the spark of life and still walk around and attack other humans until their bodies are so destroyed that they cease to function.

From Heaven's point of view Eve became a Zombie. In fact we are all Zombies. We have lost our connection with God, so we have lost our spark of life, and yet we still walk around attacking each other, until our bodies are so destroyed we cease to function. 

Zombies in the movies don't know/think there is anything wrong with them. They don't know they're Zombies. We think we are all fine and dandy too.

Now think about Jesus. On the cross he cried out "My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?" That is the true moment when he died. He became separated from God and he became a Zombie, for us, willingly. One of the living dead, hanging on the cross.

Unlike us, Jesus knew what it was like to be truly alive, He had had that vital connection to the Father that we  are lacking, so He knew what had happened to Him, He knew what He had lost and He lived with that  knowledge for a few hours, until He gave up His biological life too. And even knowing in advance what would happen He decided to go through with the crucifixion anyway, He could have escaped any time He wanted, but He choose to stay, for me, for you.

Now here is the awesome part, the God who became a man, who became a Zombie, who died the biological death, was perfect. His whole entire human life He never did a single thing that could allow Lucifer to have a claim on Him. So when He went to His final sleep, it could not hold him in His perfection and He awoke again. He came forth from the grave with His connection with the Father re-established, with His biological body renewed and reanimated, with only His scars to prove His torment.Truly alive once more.

Why is this awesome? I hear you ask? It is awesome for this reason; what He has, I can have too!!

I also can be truly alive! No longer a Zombie!! I can re-establish my connection with God and become truly alive again, Right here, right now, this instant. All I have to do is ask.

Dear Father, God, please accept me as I am, and forgive me of the heinous deeds I have done in my zombie state. Please make me alive again because of Jesus.

Now thank Him, because the moment you ask, He does exactly that, He accepts you, He forgives you and He makes you alive again.

And then He says:

"You are no longer a Zombie, you are alive, you are my Son/Daughter. Stop living like a Zombie, stop attacking others, instead tell them that they too can be free, tell them of love, my love, for them."

And the awesomeness continues, because everyday we have the privilege of walking with God, talking with Him, growing and learning, and as we grow and learn He changes us. He makes us like Jesus and eventually we also will be beings who are perfect - not in body but in character, and Satan will have no hold on us either. And we will do it in the same way that Jesus did by asking the Father for grace. Grace to resist the devil, grace to defeat him and grace to live as Jesus did, here and now, no matter what.

Adventures With God In Africa

So where to begin??

When I finished in Korea I was so full of faith that God would give me a new job and there would be no problems. I came home in a big whirl, I'd applied for a job in Korea that I thought would be an awesome mission opportunity and I was quite confident that I would get that job. So when I got home to New Zealand I told my family that it was only ten days and then I'd be going back to Korea for an interview and starting work the Monday after. Only I didn't make the interview list ...

So back to waiting on God. I started knocking on doors, which is actually not really waiting - sending out job applications with my CV. And then had to turn one job down because it had Sabbath work that wasn't in the advertisement. Other jobs, in Korea and in other countries, had conditions that were just too close to the reasons I had left my job in Korea, so I didn't feel comfortable accepting them. I started to wonder if I had made the wrong decision about leaving my job in Korea, if I was being too strict with my understanding of scripture. Not actually a time of great faith. :-(

Then one day, a couple of weeks back I was praying "God, I just want a job that doesn't make my conscience feel bad." The next morning I was talking with my friends in South Africa over instant messaging. We'd been chatting on and off ever since we'd all gone home to our respective countries. They'd already suggested I come to South Africa but I'd been so sure I was going back to Korea and people always say, 'You must come visit." So I'd treated it as a bit of a joke and kept talking about all the jobs I was applying for.

Now this morning, the one after I'd prayed, my friend says, "Cat we're serious, we want you to come work with us ..." And long discussions have ensued ever since.

Do I believe God is in this? Yes I most definitely do. Apart from the timing of my friends serious invitation, there is the fact that I had no money and now I have enough for a one way ticket to South Africa, and almost enough for a return - and I didn't ask anybody for anything. And other things are just falling into place. Churches in the area are coming forward wanting evangelism training. We are being offered amazing opportunities that have to come from God.

Last but not least this answers several prayers I have prayed in the past re jobs. I wanted to teach something that was important and useful. Chemistry, as much as I love it, is neither important nor useful for the majority of the population. There, you have it in writing from a Chemistry teacher. The only people who really need to know about the insides of atoms are Chemistry teachers and scientists, the rest of the world just want to know that the products of science work. Why do we force feed chemistry to every kid who goes through high school when most of them can't even cook a decent meal? Or an indecent one for that matter??

Teaching Bible on the other hand is the most important thing there is. It is the difference between life and death for the world. And teaching it to people who really want to know it - well that as as close to heaven as I am going to get this side of eternity. Willing Students!!!

I wanted to be involved in building something, not just maintaining the status quo - well this is building, literally. At the moment we have a bare piece of land in the country for our school. We will be building it from the ground up. I'm guessing there will be nails I will be able to look at in the future and say - I did that.

And then there are all the lovely systems and curricula to be designed and implemented, Bliss!

What will I actually be doing? Well we are going to build a Missionary Training School in South Africa. But not just for teaching the Bible. Bible is important, but a missionary still has to be able to survive and not be a financial burden on the people around him. So we will also be teaching practical skills, like gardening, and building, cooking, simple home remedies, skills that will allow our missionaries to grow and flourish. I get to help set up and run this school. It will take all the skills I've learned in every job I've ever had and stretch them as far as they will go.

We have big dreams, so big that sometimes it scares me. Then I remember this is not my dream, and not my problem, it is God's dream and His problem, and since He's given us the dream He will provide the resources to carry it out and each day I just have to do the task that is directly in front of me and not worry about everything else. Right now that task is making a Strategic Plan.

Life is grand :-) I feel like God has wrapped the world up in a package, tied it with a bow and given it to me.

Midnight Adventures

One set of twins.

So as I said in my last post my Mum has a little farmlet that includes, amongst many other living things, 8 sheep. When I got home, straight after something like 18 hours of flying, and lunch together with my Mum and  sister, and a trip to the hairdressers, (must have correct priorities ;-),  Mum took me off to see the sheep, and help herd them! - Before she took me to see the new house.

She wanted to separate one that was going to give birth in a day or two, away from the others, and into the paddock with the other new mothers.  In the last few weeks the flock has expanded to 19 as the sheep have all been having lambs - lots of twins!!!

Since then I have had several opportunities to help herd sheep, under the noonday sun, the wintery wind and the driving rain. Does that make me a shepherd?

Mum is very protective and proud of her sheep. She goes out and feeds them fancy sheep food every morning, after that they just have to settle for grass the rest of the day. If one baa's too long or too insistently she will go out to see what the problem is.

Well on Saturday night at around 11:30pm they started baa'ing. So out she went and out I went too. We couldn't see anything and the sheep settled down after we arrived. But just as we were leaving Mum noticed that one of them had a blue stripe on its back. None of us put it there ... Nothing we could do at the time, so we went back to bed.

The next morning it was discovered that four of the sheep have acquired blue stripes. No idea ...

If the mystery is solved I shall tell you all about it ;-)

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

While I was in Korea my Mum achieved a life long dream. She and my Step-Father purchased a lovely block of land in the country. It has lots of trees, a lovely house, a veranda, a garden and a glass house, a river complete with swimming hole and swing, a hill, 8 sheep and 1 chicken.

Actually they did not purchase the chicken. It flew in one morning a few weeks ago and has simply refused to leave. It is not a very nice chicken!!! It regularly attacks my poor blind cat. When Cinnamon (my Cat) pokes her nose out of the house, within a very short amount of time the evil chicken will be flying in her face, and trying to peck her. Cinnamon is becoming quite afraid to go outside. It also tries to sneak into the house, as it has discovered Cinnamon's cat food, and apparently loves it! She waits near the door and at opportune times, ie when the door has been left open, it will cluck it's way inside, and gobble down as much cat food as it can before it is found and shooo'd outside again.

The evil chicken does have one redeeming quality however, it thinks it's a puppy. When ever a human goes outside it will follow along at quite close range where ever the human is going.

Every morning we have heard her clucking triumphantly, announcing to the world the she has successfully laid another egg. Today I finally found the nest. There were seventeen organic free range eggs in it. They all passed the freshness test.

Guess what I'm having for breakfast????

A Rose By Any Other Name ...

Happy Sabbath Eve, aka Preparation Day, aka Friday. :-) It doesn't matter what we call it, today is the day when we get ready for tomorrow, and tomorrow is the day that we are privileged to spend in the presence of the Holy God.

Actually here in NZ it's already Sabbath, well past sunset and into Special Time. For the rest of the world have a wonderful day as you get to take your turn having a blessed Sabbath Rest.

Enjoy your Special Time with Jesus.

Cat

The Future

The big question ... where to go, what to do NEXT?  My answer unfortunately is, 'I don't know.'

My head says the practical thing to do would be to stay in NZ for a year and get a job teaching in a high school so that my teacher registration is maintained for another five years. At the same time I could complete the Masters and do a TESOL course - yes, they are all possible.

My heart wants to go back to Korea, and teach English to adults somewhere in Seoul. One thing I learned while I was in Korea is that you can be a missionary anywhere, I don't need to be working for a church organisation to be a missionary. But it will be much easier to get the kind of job I want if I have finished my Masters and done a TESOL course.

And then there is a mission school in India that needs a foreign teacher. But they can only afford to pay local wages and I have commitments that make it impossible for me to live on local wages. My Spirit wants to leap out in faith and just go, my Head says, 'Count the Cost.' One thing I have become very aware of since I finished my time as a missionary in Korea is that there is a huge shortage of people who are willing and able to get out of their comfort zones and go somewhere new to tell people about the love of Jesus.

And so I pray and wait.

And I follow the only solution I can think of, apply for everything that appeals, both in Korea and in NZ and to ask God to close all the doors I'm not supposed to walk through, because ultimately I only want to go where God wants me to be. If that place is a high school in NZ for a year then I shall be practical and stay put. If that place is back to Korea then my heart will be exceedingly happy. And if that place is India then my spirit will be delighted to see God do His miracles that free me to go there. And if that place is somewhere else entirely then I'll enjoy the surprise.

If you could pray with me I would definitely appreciate your prayers, and while your praying also follow the instruction from Luke 10:2 "... pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would send forth labourers into his harvest." Because we need more people who are available and have a passion for teaching others about God's goodness and Jesus' soon return.

Rediscovering Treasure

When I packed up my house all those years ago - 4 to be exact - I got rid of lots of stuff and boxed the rest and put it into storage. Since I have been home I have been going through those boxes, sorting them, and discovering all sorts of dubious 'treasure.' The aim is to reduce the amount of stuff I own!!

Some things are in the "What was I thinking?' category, others come under, 'What is it? and Why did I keep it?' And then of course there are all those 'Favourite Things' that I briefly caress and then repack so they are safe while the next adventure takes me away again.

Some of the more interesting items I have found so far:

3 metre long feather boa, brown in colour, purchased for a themed murder mystery night costume. It makes any room where it is used look like a chicken was plucked in it. Destined for my sister's dress up box. Hope she likes vacuumming.

Bag of marbles from when I was 10, does that make them antique? Donated to my nephews toy collection.

Equally ancient 14 sided rubrics cube, never solved, but it is somewhat easier now as half the colours have fallen off, 3 sides of black? Can do!

103 (or thereabouts) recipe books. Repacked! One day I will have to stop adventuring and then I'm going to cook every one of those recipes. Truly. Actually it turns out books are among the hardest things to cull, the book boxes are not reducing by very much at all ...

The Green Jersey (Sweater for Americans) I knitted in College, actually if I am honest I didn't actually knit much of it. My Step Sister taught me to knit. I would go over to her house, laborously knit two rows of the course of two hours and then just before I would go home she would whip out another five, still took me months and months to finish it. By the time I had finished it I was too fat to wear it. Now however - twenty years later - I actually can fit it, so I proceeded to wear it the entire day I discovered it. Serendipitously the day was rather chilly, but I suspect I would have worn it even if the temperature had been 35 degrees C in the shade, just because I could.

And finally this, the best note a teacher could ever get from a parent! Never actually used it, but did wave it in a threatening way a couple of times. (To any PC people that are reading this blog, let me say that I had a great relationship with that family, both parents and kids.)

I only had one note that was more memorable in my entire teaching career, it said;


          Dear Miss XXXX

          XXXXX was late for school today because she was a @$#%^.

          Yours Sincerely

          and then the father signed his name.


My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I read that. Wasn't sure what shocked me most, that the father had actually written that or that the girl had delivered it. Another time the same girl had another note from a different caregiver, she was late because the caregiver had to vacuum the back lawn! I kid you not!! Apparently the girl had tossed some bread crumbs out for the birds and the caregiver felt this would just encourage Cats to stalk them, therefore the crumbs must be vacuumed up post haste. (She was one of my favourites, the girl not the crazy caregiver, so was the boy from the gagging and binding note above. I know teachers say we don't have favourites, but we do. We just try very hard not to treat them any different to everybody else.)

Coming Home

NZ from above.

Well it's been a while and much has changed since I last posted. Suffice to say my time in Korea has come to an end for the present and I am back in New Zealand enjoying the comforts of home and the love of my family.

It is very lovely to listen to English 24/7, to be able to talk to anyone and know they will understand me, to use big words, to talk as fast as I want. My sister tells me my speaking has become more correct/crisp.

I'm also loving the fact that cars drive on the correct side of the road over here - no more looking three times  before I cross a road to make sure I don't get run over! I'm loving driving again!!!! I missed driving in Korea - but I had no intention of driving there - those are scary roads - too many cars and too many signs I am too slow at reading.

Driving around Auckland has been fun, but I can't help making comparisons to Korea, all the low one or two storey buildings - in fact not counting the CBD you can count the high rise buildings in Auckland on two hands and a foot.

One thing that has been really interesting is reverse culture shock. I wasn't expecting that!

It started on the plane on the way home. My first flight, Seoul to Hong Kong, was with Korean Air and the flight attendants were young, beautiful and tiny. Then from Hong Kong to Auckland I flew Air New Zealand and the flight attendants were old, ugly and huge! I wondered if Air NZ had purposely chosen the ugliest people the could find??? Having said that they were also incredibly helpful, the person who booked my flight forgot to book vegetarian meals for me and the Air NZ people went out of their way to find me vege food.

Once I arrived in Auckland I was shocked at how old, everybody looked, and how fat we are and how scruffy, and what huge noses we have!! (Korean's don't really get wrinkles until they are very very old, we on the other hand wrinkle in middle age.) I guess a year and a half of seeing slim and trim Koreans with small noses and business style clothes has altered my perception. I realised then that the Air NZ flight attendants probably weren't ugly, it's just my warped perceptions. It's been about a month now and I'm finally starting to see NZ'ers as normal again.

Another aspect of reverse culture shock has been the bathroom - I hated the toilet paper bin in the bathroom in Korea but it's become such a habit to use it that several times I've caught myself looking around wondering where I was supposed to deposit my used paper ... habit ... duh!

Since I've been home I've been working my way through my list of food I've missed:

• Crunchy Peanut Butter on Vogels toast - yes I know you can get peanut butter in Korea, but it's all imported from the US and has added sugar, Peanut butter should NOT be sweet! NZ peanut butter - delicious!!!
• LnP - if you don't know what this is ... ^^ come visit me in NZ and find out!
• Feijoa's - it is the wrong season for feijoa's but my Step Father bottled some for me, had them with Tip Top French Vanilla Ice cream - Heaven!
• Watties Tomato Sauce - on everything :-D Much better than Ketchup!
• Avocado - wonderful!!! In Korea they cost around $5 each when you can find them.

and the list goes on, but I won't tell you everything, wouldn't want to make you jealous ;-)

Another interesting thing has been seeing my families new home - they moved while I was away. It is in the country and it is like a park, there is a large hill, a stream and lots of green grass. In fact that is one thing I'm really really enjoying seeing all the grass and trees, in Seoul there is hardly any grass and very few trees. Here is a pic of their place - I shall have to take a better one, maybe when all the spring growth has sprung.

What happens next? Where is this Gypsy adventuring to after her holiday?? I don't know yet. Still praying and waiting to see where God sends me - to be honest I'm hoping it is back to Korea. But I do know that He has a plan and He will reveal it at just the right time and it will be glorious and fun and worthwhile for building up His Kingdom. And in the mean time I have the opportunity to sort all my stuff in storage and rediscover old treasures, and wonder what I was thinking when I decided to pack such and such, and get rid of some of the weirder things, and repack the rest. But that is a story for another post.

Cheers

Cat

Seongbuk Heroes Scavenger Hunt

Charlie's Angels with virtual peanut butter.

Today we did a Scavenger Hunt at my school, the teachers and students were divided into teams and I sent them off with a list of items and photos they needed to obtain. Photo's were sent back to me via instant message as they were taken.

Things such as;
'Pose like Charlies Angels with Peanut Butter next to the Myeong-dong subway sign,' or
'Safety pin yourselves together in Seoul Station,' or
'Pose with toothbrushes in Anguk,' or
'See how many people can drink from a cup at the same time in Dongdaemun - extra points for every stranger that joins you,' or
etc. There were 15 photo's required.

A great time was had by all - which is an answer to prayer. I spent two weeks working on an Amazing Race activity for today. Only a cyclone arrived just off the Korean coast a day or two ago and so this morning it was raining Lions and Wolves - which is much much worse than raining Cats  and Dogs. So the Amazing Race had to be shelved - for now - and at 7 am I started working on a new plan, race time was 9 am.

It wasn't fancy but it was fun. Here are the photos to prove it! Go and enjoy - and like lots of them ;-)

God Hugs

Today I was feeling a little down, so I told God that I wanted a Hug. Not just any old human hug, I wanted a God Hug. (Human Hugs are welcome but I especially needed to feel God working in my life today.) By God Hug I mean I wanted one of those events that show that God is working in your life in a explicit and detailed way. Then I got on with my day.

First I had a meeting with one of my Bible Study groups - this is a group of English Teachers who meet together weekly to memorise scripture. When I went into the office of one of the group members, her boss who is lovely gave me a Human Hug. 'Check' - prayer beginning to be answered. ^^

Then I gave a presentation to a bunch of new teachers who are about to begin their missionary service here in Korea. I was delighted to discover that the last meeting for the day was a presentation by Pastor Martin Kim - who 'just happened' to be in Seoul today and at the very last minute agreed to talk to the new missionary teachers, so I stayed to listen. Ps Martin Kim is well known in the US and travels around teaching people about prayer. After his presentation - which was exactly what I needed to hear - I spoke with his wife, we prayed and then she hugged me too. 'Check' - prayer answered.

The day was finished with a great chat with another friend over the phone and now I'm off to bed at the early hour of 8:45pm!!! and am fully expecting an amazing nights sleep.

I love it when God organises my day specifically so that He can show me that He is active in my life and that He cares about my needs - spiritual, emotional, physical and social.

Where Is God When It Hurts?

There are many things in life that cause us pain:          

Failing an exam

Breaking up with a boyfriend of girlfriend

The death of someone we love

Realising we can never obtain our dreams

Discovering that your husband or wife is having an affair

When these things happen we hurt! We have pain in our hearts, dreadful pain that causes us to ask questions like:

Why did this happen to me?

God why did you let this happen?

Does God really love me?

If God is good how can he let such terrible things happen?

Does God really exist?

In 2 Kings 4:8-37 we find the story of the Shunamite Woman. We don’t know her name, all we know about her is that she was rich, that she was generous, that she had no children and that her husband was very old.

This story begins when Elisha, the prophet of God was travelling through Israel. He came to the town of Shunam. While he was there the Shunamite woman asked him to have dinner at her house. After that everytime Elisha came to Shunam he stopped and ate at the home of the Shunamite woman.

One day the Woman said to her husband “I know that this man who often comes our way is a holy man of God. Let’s make a small room on the roof and put in it a bed and a table, a chair and a lamp for him. Then he can stay there whenever he comes to us.” 2Kings 4:9-10

Her husband agreed and the room was built.

Sometime after the room was finished Elisha came to visit again, and the Shunamite woman showed him his room. He was very happy and grateful!! Later that day while he was lying on the bed he sent his servant Gehazi to find the woman and he asked her “You have gone to all this trouble for us. Now what can be done for you? Can we speak on your behalf to the king or the commander of the army?” (vs 13) She replied that there was nothing she needed and she went back down stairs.

So Elisha asked his servant “What can we do for her?”

Gehazi said, “Well, she has no son and her husband is old.”

So Elisha sent for the woman again and he said to her (vs 16) “About this time next year, you will hold a son in your arms.”

This was the woman's situation: Her husband was old, he would die soon and when he died everything he owned would go to his brother and she would be left with nothing. In fact she would also have to marry his brother. I'm guessing that she had really wanted a son but at some point had become resigned to her fate.  

Now here is a man, a prophet of God, telling her that in one years time she would have a baby boy of her very own.

The Woman said to Elisha “No, my lord … Don’t mislead your servant, O man of God!” (vs 16)

Nevertheless the woman became pregnant and one year later she had a son. Just like Elisha had told her.

It is interesting to notice that even though she did not have faith in Elisha's prediction it came true anyway.

The child grew up and followed his father around the farm, helping more and more as he got older. One day he was out in the field with the reapers and it was hot. His head began to ache. It got more and more painful. So his father told a servant to carry the boy to mother. He sat on his mothers knee until noon and then he died.

  

This is just about the worst pain a parent can have, to have your child die before you. Many people in this situation blame God and turn away from Him and refuse to have anything else to do with Him. What the Shunamite Woman did was extraordinary.

She refused to believe that the death of her child was Gods will. She went upstairs and laid the boy on the bed of the Prophet Elisha and she called her husband. “Please send me one of the servants and a donkey so I can go to the man of God quickly and return.”

“Why?” her husband asked, and she replied “Everything is fine.” She did’nt tell him the boy had just died. It is as if she is refusing to believe that he was dead.

Elisha saw her coming in the distance, and he said to his servant Gehazi, “Run to meet her and ask her, ‘Are you all right? Is your husband all right? Is your child all right?” (vs 26) and she replied “Everything is fine.”

Finally she reached the prophet Elisha and she fell to the ground and held onto his feet. Gehazi came over to push her away, but the man of God said, “Leave her alone! She is in bitter distress, but the LORD has hidden it from me and has not told me why.” (vs 27)

The woman finally cried out her pain, “Did I ask you for a son, my lord?” she said. “Didn’t I tell you, ‘Don’t raise my hopes’?” (vs 28)

Notice that even though she was in immense pain she still turned to God first to take away her pain. Instead of running from God and blaming Him she goes to God and tells Him exactly what she thinks. “I didn’t ask for a Son, you gave him to me and then you took him away. WHY??? Why did you do this to me???”

And God did not fail her.

Elisha the prophet of God sent his servant to the house of the woman with instructions to lay his staff across the boys face. But this was not enough for the woman. She said to Elisha “I will not leave you!” So Elisha went with her to her house. He went into the upper room and He prayed, and God raised the child back to life.

Where was God in this story?

God was their all the time, even when the woman was most destressed God was there. He heard her pain and he gave her son back to her.

Does God Understand what we feel when we are in pain?

Yes He does.

In the record of Jesus’ death on the cross we find these words, “My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?” Jesus is hanging on the cross, he is naked, he has been beaten several times so that his skin and muscles are torn up and running with blood. He has seen his friends betray and deny him and all the people who only a few days before had wanted to make Him king have shouted that he must die. And now He feels as if God has deserted Him. “My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?”

Where is God? God is right there with Jesus but Jesus can’t feel Him.

However like the Shunamite woman Jesus refuses to doubt Gods goodness. Even though He feels like God has deserted Him he still clings to the promises that God has given in the Bible and the very last thing He says before He dies is, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” (Luke 23:46)

God understands our pain. He’s been there Himself. He’s experienced the worst pain a parent can have, the pain of seeing His own Son murdered.

And Jesus has experienced the pain of rejection by friends, betrayal by close friends, whatever pain you can think of, Jesus has experienced it.

When we hurt where is God? 

Just like the Shunamite woman, and just like Jesus, He’s right there with us, waiting for us to turn to Him. For us to tell him our feelings, for us to trust Him.

Like with Jesus and with the Shunamite Woman, when we put our trust in God, He works to turn our pain into a blessing. Because He has promised two things:

Hebrews 13:5

“… God has said, ‘I will never leave you; I will never forsake you.’ ”

Romans 8:28

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Every single one of us has been called by God. He is calling us to come to Him and give Him our pain and our heartaches. To allow Him to be our God and our comforter. He promises that even when we don’t understand, our pain can work for our good – because ALL things work for good for those who love God. And He has promised to never leave us, even in the middle of our worst pain.

Jesus death worked for our good – because Jesus died we can go to heaven and be with God and Jesus for ever.

The Shunamite woman, how did her pain work for her good?

In 2 Kings chapter 8 we find this woman again.

God has told Elisha that there is going to be a famine in the land for seven years. So Elisha goes to the Woman and tells her, “Go away with your family and stay for a while wherever seems good to you, because the LORD has decreed a famine in the land that will last seven years.”

She obeys Elisha, packs up her family and they go to another country for seven years. At the end of this time she brings her family back to Israel. Things have changed. Someone else is living in her house. So she goes to the king to ask for her lands back.

Now it just happens that on that very day the King has called Elisha’s servant Gehazi and said to him, “Tell me about the all the great things Elisha has done.” So Gehazi is standing with the King telling him stories about how God has worked through Elisha. Just as Gehazi was telling the king how Elisha had restored the Shunamite Woman’s dead son to life, the Shunamite Woman herself came up to the King to beg him to give back her house and land.

So Gehazi said to the King, “This is the woman, my lord the king, and this is her son whom Elisha restored to life.”

The king asked the woman about it, and she told him the whole story.

The King was so amazed that he assigned an official to her case and said to the official, “Give back everything that belonged to her, including all the income from her land from the day she left the country until now.”

So the result of that terrible situation was that many years later God was able to use the woman's pain to show His goodness. The King heard how powerful God was, that He could bring dead people back to life and the Shunamite Woman got back her house and her land and all the profit the land had produced during the seven years she was away.

How does God use our pain to bless us?

I don’t know. Every case is different.

But I do know three things;

1. God is with me even when it hurts most and I think he has gone far away, because He has promised

Hebrews 13:5

“… God has said, ‘I will never leave you; I will never forsake you.’ ”

2.      2. Everything that happens to me will be a blessing in someway because I love God and God has promised

Romans 8:28

“ … that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

3.      3. Even when I don’t understand I can tell God “God, this hurts, it hurts bad, I don’t understand but I will trust you.”

When we do this God works in our situations to mend our hearts to turn our situations around and to bring us blessings.

I know this is true from my own experience. Some of the pains in my life, I can see now that while they were hard God used them to bless and protect me. Some things, I don’t understand still, but I can see how God is growing me through the pain and I have confidence that one day I will understand and receive my blessing.

You can have that same confidence, simply ask Jesus into your life. You could say something as simple as "Dear Jesus, Please save me." He'll come into you're life and little by little every day you will find that He is changing you and growing you and bringing you healing and blessings and joy.

I Feel Like Posting ^^

Hi Hi, lovely People ^^  <---- that symbol is Korean for smiling eyes.

So this month, first my asthma is improving and I'm very happy about that!! Haven't had to use my inhalers for a week so no more shaking!!!

Second, Korea is going through major changes this month. It is spring and suddenly most of the population has spilled out of buildings and onto the side-walks to enjoy the warm and balmy sun!! Me too! Today I went exploring some new streets. I found ...

1. A man cutting up huge chunks of ice on the back of a truck with a chainsaw ... I am guessing that it is for the fish stalls in the market ... I think it is a fair guess because the truck was parked just outside the market...

2. A lovely patch of violets poking out through a grating ^^

3. A restaurant with leaks on the sign - based on my theory that a restaurant serves mainly what is on it's sign I took the time to translate the sign and it turns out I was correct, it is a leak noodle restaurant. So then I took a picture of the menu and asked a friend to translate it. All the items on the menu, except one, are vegetarian. ^^

4. I found this restaurant ... I'm guessing that this is one of the few places where my sign/picture theory doesn't work - fairly certain they won't be serving men in that restaurant. (Literal translation of the sign is 'Chef Foreign Susan,' Really not sure what to make of that ... especially considering the picture of the man on the sign ...)

5. Politics - last week was election week for Korea. I was entertained by all the teams of people standing tidily in the streets bowing at all the passerby's and handing out leaflets. Each team was made up of three people dressed identically in colour coded clothes. I saw a red team, a yellow team, a blue team, a white team, and a purple team. Each colour represents a particular party. In my area - and in fact most of Seoul - most people voted for the yellow team. The day after the election most everybody I met was sad because while the yellow team mainly won in Seoul it lost in the rest of the country and the red team won the overall election. Today I found a big banner from the winner of my area (yellow team) She was thanking the people for electing her - I could figure that out without having to translate, just from the picture.

6. Finally on the streets all the cherry trees are blossoming ^^ I'm going to the cherry blossom festival on Wednesday afternoon with some of my students. Very much looking forward to that!!!

Plans ...

So this is April, and what have I done? Another month over and a new one just begun ... LOL - if your not humming the tune in your head by now then you need to go listen to some Christmas Carols!!

I am taking a break from blogging this month. Meaning I'm not going to try and blog every single day, but I will put up random thoughts and pics as the mood strikes. Planning to restart in May after my 'blogging sabbatical.'

However before I sink into obscurity for a little while there are a two things I should mention:

1. I now know what it feels like to have Parkinsons. NO I don't have it!!! But ever since I've been in Korea my asthma has been getting worse. In the last two weeks I've had to start using my inhalers again. I hate them - they make me shake!!! Continually! But when it comes to a choice between shaking and breathing ... I choose breathing. Problem is three fold - not enough sleep, too much sugar (yes I know) and Seoul's pollution - apparently this is the worst time because a bunch of yellow dust flies over from China - apparently! Yes I will work on the two things I have control over. And, I think I'll go to the Doctor and see if I can get different inhalers that don't make me shake.

2. I have changed me plans. I am postponing my Masters yet again and also my term off. On the bad side it will be longer before I see you all again, but on the good side, 'I'll be home for Christmas, you can count on that ...' Had my white Christmas now, this year I want Christmas at the beach!!!

Now as I go lay my head down to sleep let me bid you 'Ka Kite Ano' (google) and send you much 'Aroha'.

March 28, 29 & 30 - Thinking

Too tired to write post-blogs for the last couple of days so this is a combo-blog!!

Today is Friday, it's 7:43pm and it is my weekend off. I'm at home quietly alone with my thoughts - planning to send my thoughts to dreamland very very shortly!!! However first I'm going to detail some of them here.

In my working day I teach two level 5/6 (top levels) combination classes as well as various other classes. What is unique about these two classes is that one of them in entirely men and the other is entirely women. So while I teach the exact same lesson to both classes the conversations we have are completely and utterly different.

Except for one thing. I have come to the conclusion that most people live lives of quiet desperation. Most of my students are not happy, they tell me the most amazing things sometimes. I think they tell me these things for two reasons;
1. They don't have the vocabulary to lie, and
2. Sometimes I think that my classroom has the same feeling as a cruise ship, or any group of strangers who come together for a holiday, it is a time/space out of real life where you meet people who are similar to yourself but who have no other contact with your real life so you feel free to be open about things you would never ever tell your friends and families.

So I hear these tales of sadness and then I look at the people on the street going by the window, on the subway opposite me, going about their daily lives and I wonder; "What dreams did the man pushing the cart piled high with cardboard for recycling have in his youth?" I'm almost certain he didn't dream of being a cardboard recycling man. And the Lady who spends all her days repairing shoes in a tiny tin room - maybe 1.5m x 3m in dimension - "How did she imagine her life in her young days?" I'm betting she didn't plan on her confinement - but my students tell me she's been operating her business out of that box for 20 years. And what about the man sitting on the pavement trying to sell dried seaweed? I see him there at 10am on a Sunday morning with a huge pile of weed, and again at 10pm at night trying to sell his last packet before he heads to whatever passes as his home. "Was this the height of his ambitions?"

I want to tell my students that there is more, so much more!!

Most of you reading my blog are personal friends, you know I came to Korea to be a missionary. To tell people that Jesus loves them, that He wants them to accept Him as their personal saviour and to go to Heaven to be with Him forever. And I get to do this on a daily basis. I lift up Jesus every chance I get, I tell my students stories of how God has worked in my own personal life, how He is still working even now, how even in situations when things are hard and I hurt I can still trust Him and learn from Him and that I know that one day God will make everything new and there will be no more tears and no more pain.

I look at the world around me, the natural disasters, the erosion of personal freedoms in the west, the world wide economic crisis and looming war rumours and it all speaks to me, telling me that the end is near, that Jesus is only a short way away, that we don't have much time!!!

Half of me wants to tell God, "Come now!! Let's get this over with, let's end the pain and evil and sorrow!" and half of me wants to say, "Don't come, so many people are not ready, so many people haven't had a chance to decide. So many people are so ignorant of Your love, Your will and Your truth."

It makes me think of Rahab, (in various parts of chapters 1-6 in Joshua in the Bible) she has the promise from the spies, "Everybody who is in your house will be saved when we destroy Jericho." So she goes out amongst her friends and family telling them, "The Israelites are coming, Jericho will be destroyed, but if you come and stay in my house you will live." I can see her standing on her roof top looking over towards the Israelite camp, for six days they've come, marched silently around the city walls and gone away again. I imagine Rahab in two minds, one mind says "Hurry up, finish this already." The other is trying to figure out how she could squeeze just one more person into her house and who would be open to hearing her message of hope without informing the king of her traitorous beliefs. And in reading the story I know what she doesn't know, the seventh day is the last day. One the seventh day the army doesn't march away silently. On the seventh day the city falls, Jericho is destroyed and everybody within its walls dies. Everybody except Rahab and the people in her house.

I believe we're in that same position, standing on the wall looking out into eternity, it's the end of the sixth day and the seventh is just about to begin, bringing with it the destruction of our planet and the Salvation of those people who have put there faith and trust in Jesus and His sacrificing love!!! His cleansing power, His blood.

Then I look at myself, I've be so blessed, I know so much of the truth, I've experienced so much of God's love and yet I still manage to make dumb, stupid mistakes, essentially denying Jesus, like Peter, on an almost daily basis. I want to tell God; "Don't come yet - I'm not ready, PLEASE make me ready!!! Make me like Esther."

Esther who went to the King to tell him that his most trusted official was a traitor. But Esther was clever, she didn't accuse Haman in front of the whole court, she did it in private so the King didn't look bad in front of his servants. I need God to make me as clever and as loyal and as brave as Esther. Only His Holy Spirit can make me into a good Missionary and only His Holy Spirit can make any of us ready for the time when Jesus comes again. We need to be praying continually for the Holy Spirit and that is one pray that God delights to answer with an immediate yes.

That's some of what I've been thinking ...

March 27 - Almost Feels Like Home

On Sunday after our hike the students (Jessica, Emma and Janet) drove Vickey and I to a Buddhist Temple to look around. On the way there we drove through one of the rich parts of Seoul - lots of individual houses rather than apartments. Land is very expensive here. So to be able to buy a block of land and only put one dwelling on it - rather than an apartment building for 50 or 60 families - means you must be very very rich.

Any way the area actually almost felt like home. There were trees, and each house had it's own fenced yard. It was kind of reminecent of driving through some of those back roads in Kohimaramara, St Heliers or Remuera. Some of the detailing was different, but the feel was similar. Made feel just a tiny bit homesick for the familiar. Am thinking that I might just figure out how to get back there and go walking one Sunday.

March 26 - Late Night Surprise

Yesterday was Sunday, I was feeling a bit 'peopled out.' The hardest thing to come by here in Korea is space where you can be completely and utterly alone.

I had been into the centre of Seoul to the best book shop in Korea :-) buying my Korean textbooks amongst other things and I started walking back towards the station. Decided to walk several stations rather than crowd onto the subway with the rest of humanity.

God blessed me last night with two lovely surprises;
1. I stopped on a whim for dinner at a Subway sandwich shop - the American franchise, not anything to do with trains - taking my sandwich upstairs I spent almost an hour eating my dinner and beginning to fill in my Korean workbook and the only other diner left after 5 mins. So I had the whole top floor of the restaurant all to myself - not even the staff were in evidence. :-D


2. Then as I continued my way home I found this splash of colour in the otherwise drab night. A flower stall squeezed into the ally between two buildings. Wonderful!!!

March 25 - Translation Blues

While out hiking I came across this sign ... can you guess what it says?

It is actually an English word transliterated into Korean characters but then instead of just using the English word for the English translation the Korean Characters were converted back to English using all the various transliteration rules that apply. This is the result!

Did you guess?


...


...


...


... it is Badminton Court.

March 24 - Dancing Bonita

I went to have lunch with a friend the other day, she's having trouble with the idea of vegetarianism. She made this for me specially and then said "It's almost vegetarian ... it only has a little bacon!" I felt so terrible telling her I couldn't eat it. 

The flakes on top are also dried Bonita - a Japanese fish, they 'dance' from the heat of the pancake. Fascinating to watch!

March 23 - Air Surprise

I went hiking with students recently and was charmed and surprised to discover a new use for compressed gas, to clean your shoes! In the car parks there are complimentary shoe cleaning stations. Squirt a bit of compressed gas at your shoes to blow away the debris that threatens to dirty your nice clean car before you drive away from you day of hiking. Innovative :-)