Jealousy versus Envy

Yesterday I met up with a group of friends and as we were sitting around the table enjoying our meal the conversation turned to words. Specifically what is the difference between jealousy and envy. Only one person knew. She was the one who had asked the question. The rest of us only had nebulous answers that basically said they're similar but not exactly the same thing. 

Here is the definition our friend gave, it's not exactly what the dictionary says, but it is exactly right. 

Jealousy is when you are afraid of losing something. You are jealous of the girl flirting with your boyfriend because you are afraid she will steal him. 

Envy is when you want something you don't have. You are envious of the girl with the gorgeous boyfriend because she has something you want but don't have. 

This has explained a mystery for me. 

In the Bible God is described as a jealous God in several places. I have wondered for a long time what that means, because I could not see how that it is a good thing to be jealous, even when applied to God who we know is good, so His jealousy must be good. It just didn't make sense. 

But with my new definition it makes perfect sense. 

God loves us in the extreme. He is jealous of anything that might take us away from Him. Things that rouse His jealousy make Him angry, because He doesn't want to lose us. Losing us means we die. I guess He has a right to be angry. I'd even go as far as to say the anger of God is a beautiful thing. 

Of course with people jealousy cause us to do some terrible things. But God is perfect. His jealousy causes Him to show His love even more to draw us back to Himself. And one day He will destroy sin which is the thing that seperates us  from Him and we will never be in danger of being seperated from Him again. 

I wish that day would come soon. In the meantime I come close to God everyday, swim in His love and try to stay as far away from sin as I can. 

God loves me, just as I am, and He is working to take the sin out of me so I'm not tempted to leave Him. 

The Great Perfume Saga

A few years ago I had the most beautiful perfume that I got compliments on every day. Loved that stuff. Smelled like strawberries and chocolate. :-) 

Then one day something changed and it started to smell like fly spray. I was so sad. Especially as I had just splashed out and bought the whole set; body lotion, shower gel, etc. and it all smelled good in the bottle and bad bad bad on me. 

Since then I've been intimitantly hunting for a new perfume. 

Today it suddenly struck me. I live in the shadow of one of the biggest department stores in Korea. They have hundred of different perfumes there that I can sample in my search to find the best perfume. I don't know why it's taken me a year to realise this - must be a bit slow. 

Anyway I started my quest today. Was beguiled by a pretty blue bottle and sprayed on a liberal amount. The sales girl gave me an odd look but I just shrugged it off. 

Now that the smell has fully developed I think I can understand why. It rather smells like I doused myself in aftershave. Very masculine in my apartment tonight. I quite like the smell - but not on me. 

Regardless with a bit more care and observation I intend to continue my hunt for the perfect perfume with daily visits to the department store. 

A Strange Kind of Day ...

1. I've spent a large part of the day dancing to Frozen songs, helping my kids prepare for the Frozen musical they will be performing next week. And sadly I now know all the words to several of the songs. 

2. I got down on one knee and proposed to one of my coworkers around 100 times - and he was visibly ecstatic. Multiple fist pumps and shouts of "Yes!!!" Also part of Frozen preparation. 

3. Found out that one of the schools 'Safety Grandfathers' died this morning. The friendly one who always says hello in English. (A safety grandfather is an old man who guards the front driveway and stops the kids - and a few teachers - from being run over by buses.) The kids were were in tears when they found out. He was not run over by a bus. 

4. Had a kid shout out 'Cat is cute' after witnessing my dancing - I think it was for a bet :-) because there is nothing cute about my dancing. 

5. It's 9:30pm and I'm on the bus going home. I thought I'd given up these crazy hours. 

6. Spent an inordinate amount of time trying to convince boys that they will not die if they touch a girl, and vice versa .  Used sentences like, "You only have to touch her 4 times, and for 3 of those you don't even have to touch skin." So very very different from my days teaching high school.  

7. Spent most of the rest of the day constructing and painting Elsa's Frozen ice castle out of an old box. Will finish that tomorrow. 

8. Feel soooo tired, and sad, but sort of accomplished and happy. A weird mix. 

These Things I Know

1. God loves me unconditionally.

2. God wants to spend eternity with me. 

3. God's will is for me to be sanctified, made holy and perfect so that I can spend eternity with Him. 

4. God has invested everything He has to give me the opportunity to become sanctified. 

5. When I don't know which way to turn, or what to do, then I can/must trust God's heart. He will not let me inadvertently do something that will seperate me from Him. 

Random Muzings

It's a peaceful Sabbath afternoon and I'm sitting around with my friends who are half singing and half napping - at the same time. I'm half singing, half blogging. ^^

Today for church the preacher spoke about faith. I heard the first few sentences and then my mind went down a completely different track and started telling me my own sermon. 

The passage was Hebrews 11: 22 "By faith Joseph, when he died, made mention of the departing of the children of Israel; and gave commandment concerning his bones." 

I started thinking about faith and Joseph's bones and the prophecy that was made that the children of Isreal would come out of Egypt after 400 years. (Genesis 15:18 "And he said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years;")

The only point of the Pastors sermon that I remember was the fact that of all the events in Joseph's life the one that was remembered as the greatest example of Joseph's faith was the fact that he believed God's promise - even though he knew it would be around 400 years before it would be fulfilled. 

I was thinking about the prophecy and the fact that as it came time for the Isrealites to leave Egypt, according to the prophecy, they would have been counting down the years and looking at their circumstances - which went from bad to worse. And they would have thought it was impossible for them to be released. And then God showed up with Moses right on time and released them, regardless of circumstances. In fact the circumstances made His deliverance even more impressive. Proving to the Isrealites that He was a God of supreme power. Sadly the were quick to forget this. 

Then I started thinking about Pharaoh and how he also would probably have known about the prophecy. But that when Moses turned up, right on time, and asked "Let my people go"  Pharaoh decided to defy God and have a kind of god contest. And God showed him that He (God) was more powerful than all the Egyptian gods. 

All of that made me think about how God is faithful and how we can trust His promises. 

And then I started thinking about divorce.  This week two of my friends told me they are either divorcing or seperating from their partners. And of course that leads me to think about getting married which is something I actually would rather like to do in the future. But when you see other people breaking up, it makes a person rethink that desire. 

One thing I know though - while I don't trust my own ability to choose well, I CAN trust God. I CAN trust that He will lead and guide and that He will pick well for me. Because He has promised to lead and keep me in the right path. Isaiah 30:21 says "And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left."

Years and years ago when I first thought about getting married I prayed and asked God for an impossible sign, that he would use to let me know who was the right person for me to marry. Actually at the time I think at the back of my head I thought that that would keep me safe and I would never have to marry. 

After I decided I really did want to marry I struggled about whether to keep my impossible sign or to disregard it and just make my own choice and take my chances. I also struggled with the whole idea of the validity of signs. 

I have come to two conclusions; one is that if I go back on my request now it is saying that I don't really trust God. Either I don't trust that God is intimately involved with my life, or I don't trust God to choose well for me. Since I do trust God on both these counts I can not discard my sign. I will admit that it has been a struggle to come to the point where I can honestly say that. And I am glad for the struggle. 

My second conclusion is about the validity of requesting a sign from God. I was reading my Bible one day and stumbled across this passage in Isaiah 7: 10-11 "Moreover the LORD spake again unto Ahaz, saying, Ask thee a sign of the LORD thy God; ask it either in the depth, or in the height above." In this story Ahaz refuses to ask for a sign so then God says 'ok then I'll just give you a sign, a virgin will have a son.' After I read that I no longer questioned the Biblical correctness of asking for signs. One thing I did note though is that the sign God gave was impossible for man or chance. Only God could fulfill that sign. So then I had to re-evaluate, is my sign too easy? Quite honestly I can say that it is something that only God can arrange. When I marry I will know that God has chosen the man and approves. :-) and I won't marry if God doesn't bring about the sign. 

And that lead me back to the sermon - well my thoughts about the sermon - which kind of ended up in the same place as the Pastor - faith - it is believing that God keeps His promises, regardless of appearances or circumstances. 

And that was the end of the sermon, which brings me back to a lovely sunny summer afternoon. Which is now gone. 

And sadly summer is fast coming to an end too, this Monday is Chuseok here is Korea. A time when Koreans get together with their families and basically celebrate a kind if harvest festival. Sometimes they even get dressed up in traditional clothes. 

My next adventure will be tomorrow :-) (Sunday) I'm heading to one of my Korean friends homes in the country. I think I've chosen my route cleverly to avoid the worst of the traffic ... But only time will tell. Will I actually get to my destination? Or will I be stuck in traffic the entire day as every Korean in the country attempts to return to their hometown? And since half of them live in Seoul the roads out of Seoul are notoriously terrible!!!! I'll let you know the outcome tomorrow. 

Hopefully tomorrow I'll also post the photos of my last adventure. A month ago I went to the Philippines for a friends wedding. It was exciting, colourful, chaotic and loud. It felt as if I was standing under a sensory fire hose and being drenched in new experiences, I loved it. But I will admit to feeling relief when I arrived back in Korea - the feeling of order, quiet and peace. Which is rather funny considering that when I first arrived in Korea I thought it too was chaotic and loud. I really want to visit the Philippines again, but I don't think I could live there. 

Now this is finally finished - we'll as finished as it's going to get - there is always another story I could add, but it is late in the evening, so I will bid you good night and pleasant dreams and wonderful adventures tomorrow. 

xoxoxo

Taxi Stories - Men are Vain too!!!

I am currently in a taxi ... We stopped at the traffic lights so the driver immediately whipped out a pair of tweezers and proceeded to examine his hair in the rear vision mirror, pulling out any whites he could find. When the light went green he put the tweezers away and continued to drive as if nothing had happened. 

So I have learned - men are vain too!!!

A "....." Moment

Just saw this sign outside a bank ...

Just in case you're such a huge Frozen fan you want a Frozen credit card ... Or the Disney mice. 

Maybe just a tad over the top? I'm not even sure what word to use to describe this ...

Medical Adventures

I think I went to a plastic surgeon today. 

It goes like this, I have gotten a massive earache, gave my body three days to heal itself and nothing happens except I end up devouring pain killers. 

Today I determined to see a doctor. This afternoon I'm walking down the street looking at signs in office building windows, searching for 병원, which essentially means doctors clinic. Find two of them in the same building, but they have words in front I don't understand. Rather than translate I go into a nearby pharmacy to ask which is best. (There is almost always someone who can understand English in a pharmacy.)

The pharmacy sent me to a completely different building. 

When I got there the word 병원 was no where in sight. The place was called 'Dream Clinic' and there were plastic surgery advertising pictures all over the place. 

The office people didn't seem to know what to do with me. But I handed over my Alien Card (seriously, I'm an alien and I have a card to prove it) and my health insurance card. They sent me off to the doctor who did the doctoring thing and wrote me a prescription. 

While all my body parts are still the same shape, I do feel a whole lot better now that I've taken my meds. And now to bed to catch up the sleep my ear stole from me last night. 

Travel Stories

My travel adventures started at the airport. Wandered my way through check-in, departures, and security, and then got side tracked by men holding umbrella's outside a souvenir shop. Last chance to buy highly over priced souvenirs before leaving Korea. I was trying to figure out if the men were excellent maniquins or real humans who could stand really really still. Turns out they are real men who can stand really really still. I know this because I saw once of them blink.

Here is a picture of them - the forth one was the one that blinked. I think this has to be the most boring job in the world. Because of the position of the umbrella's they can't even see the interesting travelers going past. All they can see is umbrella.

And I know the souvenirs are highly overpriced because I took a gander at them. The ones in the picture below - US$45 for 5 amethyst key-rings - I've seen the exact same thing in the markets for about $15. And the 5 little drums for US$18, you can get them in the markets for $5 or $10 depending on where you go.

After I wandered out of that shop I was cannoned into a parade. About 20 people in traditional costume parading through the airport - I think it was a reenactment of a kings mode of travel. Rather cool - but I was so surprised they were past me before I even thought of taking pictures.

The last thing that struck me from Incheon airport was this lovely view of sunflowers down one of the corridors.

Next stop of my itinerary was Narita airport in Japan.

I think I totally understand how Dorothy felt when she landed back in Kansas after her trip to the fantastical Oz. My first thought on Lading in Narita airport in Japan was "Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Oz anymore." - I know I'm misquoting Dorothy  terribly. But I knew almost from the first instance I got off the plane that I was not in Korea any more. The funny thing was that it didn't feel like Japan either. It felt like New Zealand.

I traveled home on Air New Zealand, but on the first leg, Korea to Japan, I was one of very few foreigners on the plane. Waiting at the gate to board in Japan was almost an entire plane load of Kiwi's. And they were all wearing black - those people who tell me I wear too much black, let me just tell you, 'It's Cultural'! I was surrounded by my accent. People say 'chips' and 'aye.' Kathmandu backpacks and jackets, pounamu pendents, people waving around black passports embossed with beautiful silver ferns - just like mine.  I just wanted to lie back and soak it in. Is funny how something deep inside unwinds and relaxes when you're 'in your place.' Something I didn't even know was wound up. Not something that will stop me traveling, but it is something that makes coming home that much more pleasurable.

I ordered 'Asian Vegetarian' for my meals. Turns out that that means Indian. So I had Indian for three meals in a row. As Indian food goes it was fairly average, not amazingly wonderful, but also not terrible. However as airline food goes I would put it up there as definitely Amazingly Wonderful! Best airline food I've ever had.

Arriving in NZ was just lovely. I saw all my family in a short space of time - too short!!! And then was back on a plane to fly to Australia. Now I'm at my university. The wifi is free but unreliable. Sometimes it lets messages through and sometimes it tells me I have messages but doesn't let me see them, and sometimes I suspect it's not even letting them through - because some of the conversations on my chats make no sense at all!!! Shall be an interesting revelation when I get home - back to Korea ^^ - to read these conversations in their entirety.

One final thing, Food!!! I am loving the food!!!!!! So nice to eat the food I grew up with. I feel like I need a week of fasting already, every meal is so nice, and I'm soooooo full. I feel like I need to skip a few meals, but at the same time I don't want to miss any because I know that in less than a week I'm back to Korean food - which is nice, except for the kimchi - but it's not what I grew up with. Just hope I don't pop before I head back home.

Finally, my faithful readers, I love you all - wherever you are in the world.

Just WOW

Today I had two WOW moments ^^ Am wondering if God is going to send me one more before I go to bed, just to make the perfect hat trick. 

The first was on the bus this morning and I look up to see a semi familiar looking Korean lady staring at me with delight :-) She was one of my very first students ever here in Korea. She's had some plastic surgery since I last saw her - hence the semi familiar ... After I alighted we kept waving good bye to each other until the bus was out of sight. 

The second WOW moment was on the bus coming home. 

I was on a bus again, and the radio started playing the song of my people :-) Never ever expected to hear Hayley Westenra singing Pokarekare Ana in Maori on a radio in a public bus in South Korea :-) I was smiling so big I think my head nearly split open.  :-D  And I did song along - quietly - but still out loud. 

Here is Hayley singing the song. It's not the same version as on the bus, but it has a really great waiata and haka at the beginning. 

Love: A Manifesto

On the bus again ^^ that seems to be my life these days. But I like it. Gives me thinking time.

Recently I've been thinking about love. What is it? How to get it? Why do we even want it? And other related questions. 

This is going to be rather 'stream of consciousness' and I hope it makes sense but here's what I think ...

My thinking today started because of something one of my friends posted on Facebook, he said:

    "Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. 

     An interesting fact of life is that almost everyone experiences heartbreak on some levels that is enough to strip them of the innocence that they once had. Heartbreak is a part of life that will definitely change a person, the decision is made by the person who's heart is broken of whether they let the heartbreak make them a better person or if they let it make them a nobody. 

     Everything that we experience in our lives should be used as a learning experience, whether the experience is a painful experience or whether it is an uplifting experience. When we go through an experience as troubling as having our hearts broken, we must look at it as something that we can learn from, and something that we can overcome. Never let your being broken discourage you enough to pass on opportunities that may really benefit you. Remain as strong as possible, while it is fine to grieve, never stop moving forward." (Elvis - not the King, the other one - the one that is my friend.)

I thought about this and then I thought some more. It has helped me pull together the different strands of my thinking on this topic.

What Elvis says is true - people can have one of two responses to heartache, either they can close down and love very guardedly - if at all, or they can learn to accept the pain as part of life and move on. 

I have a friend who reguarly tells me to protect my heart, and I tell him it's quiet safe. And it is. But possibly not in the way he means.

It is my opinion that love is the primary need of every person. Above and before any other need, including food, shelter, safety and purpose.

I think all actions are prompted by the existence of love or by a lack of love. Let me give some examples to see if I can explain what I mean. Starting with the negative. As stated by Elvis, everybody experiences some heart break in their lives.

For a lot of people that heart break causes them to shrink into themselves. They try to protect their hearts by not letting anyone know when they love. The thinking is "If I don't let *insert name of loved person here* know that I love them until I have found out whether they love me, then I won't be hurt again." The problem with that approach is that it leads to a lot of people who love each other secretly but never actually act on their love. And love that is not acted on, not given away, fades and dies. Maybe to become a habit, a stifled shadow of the real substance that no longer exists.

Or maybe they go to the extreme of thinking, "Love hurts, so I won't love anyone ever again," and they build walls around their hearts and refuse to let anyone in very far. This is not a happy existence. To deny love is to deny the source of life.

Or they think some other thing that causes them to deny access to love in their lives. The number of justifications for living a loveless life is as many and varied as there are people living that way.

When a person closes his or her heart to love they then act out in ways they believe will protect their heart. It is my theory that all actions that cause hurt to another person are caused by a loveless person trying to protect their heart and make themselves feel better.

The person who selfishly takes more than their fair share of something is trying to protect them self from the bad feelings lovelessness brings by filling the hole in their heart with other things.

The person who gossips is trying to make themselves feel better by pulling someone else down.

The person who has affairs believes they will experience more love in a new source. They see the new love as a balm for an older lack of love.

In almost every case where one person hurts another person, the first person is not thinking of the person they hurt, all they are thinking is; "How can I protect myself? How can I feel loved?"

(Yes there are some cases where people deliberately set out to hurt others, but even in those cases I believe it is caused by a heart that has been closed to love.)

So what about the positive? It is my theory that every good/positve/helpful action is caused by the presence of love in a life. I feel loved so I will share my love with others.

It could be as simple as smiling at a person as you walk down the street, or as complicated as organising a grand surprise for a friend. Maybe it is taking the time to talk to someone who is hurting, or accepting and eating the slimy candy a child gives you like it's the best delicacy in the world. Love is outward focused, it flows through a person and brings happiness to those around them.

So what exactly is love? I believe that love is action and an attitude. It is acting in a way that will benefit another person, regardless of the way you feel or your own best interests. But it is acting in that way with a willing and happy heart.

Many people act in what appears to be a loving way, but they do it because they think it is the right thing to do, almost as if they are forced to, not willingly. That is not love. That is just another way that people try to protect themselves. If I always do the right thing, no matter what, then I won't feel guilty, I am justified in my actions, and I won't hurt."

It was with all these things in mind that I wrote my reply to Elvis's post.

"You know what, having my heart broken has taught me that I won't die from sadness. I've decided that I'm not going to try to protect my heart any more. That's God's job. I'm just going to love everybody. If they choose not to love me back then they are the ones who miss out."

That is exactly how I feel. I've lived the life where my heart was closed to love, where I did everything I could to protect my own heart, living in fear that someone would break through and destroy me. It is a sad and soulless place to be. And now I've also lived the life where I have loved but that love was not accepted. It hurt, but it's ok, there is no requirement that the person you love must love you back, and I didn't die. And if I made a comparison I would categorically state that the life of self protection hurts more than the life of rejected love.

Anyway, after I posted my reply to Elvis I started wondering. I wonder if there are degrees of love?

And my answer to that question is both yes and no.

No, because as I said love is both an action and an attitude. In my thinking you either have the attitude or you do not, you either carry out the actions or you do not. You either love, or you do not. However I know that this is not the full story.

Hence the yes, let me try to explain.

Firstly from the point of view of the lovee - the person accepting the love. There are definite degrees in the amount of love that people are willing and able to accept. One person is open and can accept as much love as you are able to give, another is all walled up and unable to accept any love. You smile at them and they think "What's wrong with her?"

Secondly from the point of view of the lover - the person giving the love. Love can't be stored except in memory, and if the memory of love is all you have it will run out. I see love as a continual flow, as I receive love, I am able to give love. Therefore while I may love, my ability to pass on that love is limited by my ability to receive love. The cool thing is that as I let love flow through me the action of loving cleans up the pipeline, allowing more love to flow. If I determine to love, even when it hurts then my old hurts are themselve healed and I am able to love more deeply. This becomes an upward spiral of love, joy and happiness.

A second distinction that needs to be made is between general love and personal love.

General love is the love we give to all living beings, maybe best summarised by the idea that "I will do no harm to any living thing and where possible I will uplift my fellow man."

General love is smiling at the man you see sitting opposite you on the train each morning, acknowledging his existence. Or it could be stopping to help the lady who has had the bottom fall out of her shopping bag, it costs you a few minutes of time but it makes her life that much easier. It could be giving a dinner to a homeless person or a flower to a child, making both feel loved and cared for. It is the small things we do for strangers and acquaintances that cost us little and are their own reward.

General love is disinterested, by this I mean it is love that does not expect anything in return. We give out of our love to another being and we trust the love will come back to us from another source. We do not expect anything from the person we practice our love on.

Personal love is the love we invest in our friends and families. The costs of personal love are higher than the costs of general love, but so are the rewards. Because with personal love, the love we give out is returned.

The problem with personal love is that it often changes from disinterested love to interested love. We form expectations about what the person we are loving will do for us. And that will lead to hurt, which can lead to those walls coming down and the love pipe closing and then instead of love spiralling up with joy and healing, a lack of love begins to spiral down with sadness and harm.

The solution to this problem is to stay far far away from expectations, to simply love the person with your whole heart and to accept with pleasure whatever love they are willing and able to give you, but not be upset if they are unable or unwilling to accept or return your love to the same degree.

My thought is that close friendships form as people find they are matching each other in the amount of love they are giving and receiving.

And then of course there is marriage. Which is a whole other complicated topic. Complicated because so many things must be taken into account when deciding who to marry; character, personality, sense of humour, etc, etc etc. And the items on that list are as varied as their are people looking for marriage partners. My thought is that all the things on our lists are the things that make one person easier to love than another.

For all that it is complicated, I also think it is very simple. Love and marriage grow out of personal friendships that become deeper and stronger until you cannot imagine living without that person. You won't die if you have to live without them, but you'll be way way way happier with them.

Now I want to back track just a little - but I will be returning to the topic of love and marriage soon enough.

Where does love come from? Like I said I think that with us humans love flows through us, it does not originate in us. We are too selfish by nature to originate love. I believe that love comes from God. That He is the ultimate source of all the love that flows around our planet. I know some of my friends and readers will not agree with that statement, and that's ok, I will never force you to agree with me. but that is what I have experienced and what I believe with my entire heart.

And now back to love and marriage. Wasn't that quick ;-)

This bit is for my three faithful readers if they manage to get this far down on my post. I have decided I actually do want to get married - babies however are optional. I know how much work is involved in looking after them, also am somewhat weary of the whole child birth experience. However to my three faithful readers, you can put out a good word for me and funnel likely suitors in my direction - please :-) There I'm giving all you potential matchmakers permission to act on my behalf. That should make my Mum and sister very happy.

In pursuit of this goal of getting married I have decided I will say 'Yes' to going out on at least one date with any man who asks me; as long as he meets four easy criteria.

1. He must be an SDA in good standing. I just don't see the point in dating anyone outside of my religion seeing as I would never consider marrying outside of my religion.

2. He must be brave enough to actually ask me out. And he'll have to do it directly, probably with words of only one syllable, because if he beats around the bush, or tries to hint or something, I probably won't even notice he is hinting, let alone figure out what the hint is supposed to be. (Actually I think all this talk of intuition and perception is just a fancy way of saying "I have a good imagination and sometimes I imagine right.") However surely it can't be to hard to say "Cat, would you like to have dinner with me?" When a guy already knows I'm going to say yes? At least the first time. Subsequent yes's will depend on the first experience. And it doesn't have to be dinner, could be some other activity that he feels would be of interest to both of us. (Now obviously the lack of difficulty is only going to apply to interested men who have actually read my blog, and since I know my three faithful readers are all female I guess you will just have to funnel interesting men to my blog for me.)

3. He must be able to afford to pay for suggested dinner or other activity. Since if we split the cost then it is not a date, it is just hanging out.

4. He must speak enough English so that we can actually have a conversation. I don't demand perfection but I don't want to have to guess at every second word he is saying.

Like I said, for the duration of this experiment I'll go out with any man who meets those four criteria. Race, age, personality, appearance and sense of humour do not eliminate anybodies chances on the first round.

However if my lovely matchmaking faithful readers want to be more discriminating in their choice of men to send my way, here is what I'm looking for in a husband.


Cat's Husband List - Part 1: NON-negotiable!!!

1. Must love God more than anything else - including me - and be in the process of allowing God to change him into His image.

2. Must have a good character - honest, kind, gentle, generous, humble, etc.

3. Must be smart. I'm sorry this sounds harsh but I can't do stupid, not for a husband. For the record smart does not mean 'educated.' I know lots of people with university degrees who are stupid. Smart means he has a brain and he's not afraid to use it.

Cat's Husband List - Part 2: Wouldn't It Be Nice ...

4. Rich - because plenty of money is always nice, but it is not necessary. I can be just as happy poor as rich.

5. Handsome - the proverbial tall, dark, looks like Pierce Brosnan with green eyes version of handsome :-) having said that, the last three guys I was attracted to were nothing like that - actually they were all short and kind of ugly - sorry guys - but they had great brains!!!! The brains do it for me every time.


The End Of My List.


So my three faithful readers, are you up for the task?

Constellations

Today I was teaching about constellations. 

I got the kids to swap books with a friend. In their friends book they were to draw a box and inside the box draw a minimum of 10 stars in a random arrangement, then give the book back. 

Once they each had their own books in front of them again the students were to make up their own constellation from the random stars their friend had drawn. 

This is what one girl saw in her stars:

I love my job ^^

The 4 Most Important Sermons I've Ever Heard!!!! How To Walk With Jesus

Recently I stumbled across these sermons. They are in my opinion the four most important sermons I have ever heard. You can listen to them all by clicking here.

     1.  Baptism of the Holy Spirit

     2.  Abiding in Christ

     3.  Emotional Healing 

     4.   Experiencing God's Love

For the last few months I have been struggling and praying about the power of God being manifested in my life. I'm here living in Korea, I'm supposed to be a missionary and yet I feel like I am a terrible missionary. Not because I don't share Jesus - because I do. But because I don't see the power of God at work in my life.

From the Bible I know that knowing Jesus should bring lasting change in me. And I feel that I do know Jesus, slowly He is bringing  me closer to Himself, but I have not seen the changes I expected. I still struggle with sin, I still struggle with healthy lifestyle, I still struggle with even wanting to be a Christian sometimes. So I feel like "How can I introduce people to Jesus when all I can offer them if a lifetime of struggle? I can't offer them the overcoming power of Jesus, I can't offer them victory, because I haven't experienced it in my own life."

Even as I write this I know it is not entirely true. I can see in my life how God has healed me and taught me to overcome some of my challenges; fear and depression are not things I struggle with any more. But these have been gradual changes, they are not the day to day overcoming of temptation that I seek/want in my own life. And they are not things I can easily share with another person and say "If you do what I did then you too will overcome." Because they involved God healing parts of me that were broken and since everybody is broken differently, God's method for healing me may not be the method that will heal another person. Also often the experiences that healed me were God orchestrated, He brought various people into my life at different times to teach me things. Those experiences can not be replicated.

God brought these sermons into my life at just the right time. If I am completely honest I had just endured another round of the temptation to throw away Christianity and give up on God, not because I don't believe, but because I am so tired of the struggle.

I came home from school one day and threw my smart phone down onto my bed, it started playing the second sermon in this series all on it's own. And the topic was the exact thing i had been praying about on the bus as I was coming home. I don't remember downloading this series onto my computer, and I don't remember uploading them to my phone, and i definitely don't remember ever listening to them before, but just when I needed them, there they were.

These sermons are the 'how' of the Christian life. How to walk with Jesus. How to experience His overcoming power in your life. Since I have been practising what I learned from these sermons I have had more success with overcoming temptation than I ever have had before. I unreservedly recommend them to anybody who wants to experience the overcoming power of Christ.

The Most Terrible, Worst, Hardest, Ugliest Number In The World

Today with Grade 1 after school I was teaching them to read numbers, we quickly went from 1,2,3, etc up to the 100's and then thousands. Then one little boy (the odd, quirky, but undeniable genius one - my favourite, but don't tell him) asked me for a hard hard number.

I told him I would give him the biggest worst number in the world. I wrote something in the millions on the board. He got it right. Then another baby asked for an ugly terrible hard number, and another and another and soon we were in the billions and trillions.

Then just at the end as the bell was about to ring my odd quirky genius brings me a wrinkled and ripped scrap of paper. "Teacher do..." All the kids looked most anticipatory - I think they had secretly worked it out together ...

There was no way in the world I was going to disappoint them and tell them I didn't know, so I made it up ... 

Seven hexillion, 

nine hundred and eleven pentillion, 

one hundred and nineteen quadrillion, 

six hundred and nineteen trillion, 

five hundred and seventy billion, 

nine hundred and seventy four million, 

nine hundred and eleven thousand, 

nine hundred and eleven.

If you know what those terms are supposed to be - feel free to educate me :-)

Another Happy Day

Funny thing, even though I've finished the 100 Happy Days Challenge I still find myself composing paragraphs in my head of happy things I could tell you about. But it's also been nice to take a break from blogging. 

Here are a couple if random things fr the last couple of days:

1. The election is over. No more lines of bowing chanting ladies and candidates with sashes and business cards at the train station for the last few days. However this morning two of the candidates were back with sashes with lots of writing all over them. I am guessing that they were the winners and that they were thanking everyone for voting for them. I was happy to see that one if the winners was the younger cute one ^^ I wonder if his good looks had anything to do with him winning?

2. Today we had speech contests at school. I was one of the judges. Quite boring actually. And I was not the only one to think so ... Captured this shot of one of the contestants at the end of the contest. 

3. Since the happy day challenge is over I've set myself a new challenge - be in bed with lights out and electronic devices turned off by 9:30pm every night except Friday and Saturday nights. Have been doing it for almost a week now and I'm starting to feel really good!!!! May become a life long habit. Sleep is a wonderful thing. 

And good night to you all. 

Electionairing

There has been an escalation of electionairing tactics, probably because the election is tomorrow. 

Last Thursday there were three trucks with pictures and speakers outside the train station, Friday morning there were four. Today there are five, and a car with a loud speaker on top. 

Now there are yellow bowing chanting ladies too, but I think they are really blues in disguise. However that makes no difference. There are so many bowing chanting ladies of various colours it's almost like having an honour guard saluting me all the way into the station. 

I have been told that in extreme circumstances the bowing chanting ladies also dance. I'm hoping to see that tomorrow seeing as it is the actual Election Day. 

Here is a picture of the first set, taken from across the road so they wouldn't see me ^^

You can't see the entire line because the people walking in block some of it. And, the red table on the end is a man selling 김밥. (Korean style sushi.) He is there everyday. Regardless of elections. 

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 100 - 100 Days of Happiness

It's 7:56pm and I'm finally on the bus going home. The workaholism won today :-P. 

Kind of amazing that today is the last day about blogging about the things that make me happy. You can all sigh with relief - to be honest I've found this kind of boring. Isn't that a terrible thing to say? That I'm bored of telling people that I'm happy. But it is kind of boring to talk about because it is the small and routine things in life that make me happy. 

Actually that's not exactly true. It is a decision and an attitude that makes me find happiness in everything. The small and routine things bring me happiness everyday. The big and adventuresome things bring me happiness too - but they don't happen every day. Would be cool if they did, but also rather tiring. I'm happy with my adventures being less regular. 

Today quite appropriately was full of small and routine happinesses. 

1. My amusement at the escalation of political 'vote for me tactics' offered up at the train station as I went to work. This morning the red and blue chanting bowing ladies were joined by orange and purple chanting bowing ladies, there were also white ones, but I think they are really blues in disguise. And they have now crossed to my side of the road - in fact there was a set at the end of my ally this morning. And two trucks with speakers and photos. When I came home this evening one of the trucks was playing the tune "If your happy and you know it clap your hands." I didn't understand any of the words - but I'm guessing it was something along the lines of "I'm great and I know it, vote for me."

2. The pleasure of finding a seat on the train - that happens every morning because I travel in the opposite direction to most people and so my trains are almost always empty-ish. 

3. Teaching my lovely kids - I love my job. This is what my kids wrote on my board today. 

Cat T. stands for Cat Teacher. They also offered to find me a husband, but since their first suggestion was the naughtiest boys father I think I won't hold my breath.  (He didn't seem too happy about that idea either.)

4. Watching my mint not only survive but thrive. I suspect it has it's own guardian angel - or at least mine is caring for the plant as well as for me, because my nurturing skills definitely have nothing to do with it's growth. 

5. Chatting with my upstairs neighbour :-) and making a plan to have lunch next week on our day off - we get a day off work so that everybody can go and vote. Well everybody except me. 

6. Instant messaging with my friends and hearing about their happinesses. 

7. Knowing that God is good!

8. Etc, etc, etc ...

And so ends the 100 Days of Happiness Challenge. 

And I had another happy day ^^

Now I shall have to think of something else to blog about. Possibly 100 days of STUDY.  I got an assignment to finish ASAP. 

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 99 - So Close To The End ...

Only one more day of Happiness to report on. Here is a round up of today's Happinesses. 

1. Homemade hit potato chips for breakfast - with lemon juice and salt - which is fast becoming my favourite way to eat potatoes. 

2. The sense of accomplishment that came from successfully purchasing and installing a new connection between my washing machine and tap - this occurred after I cleaned up the kitchen from the water sprayed everywhere when the part failed and kind of exploded. Good thing my apartment is so tiny that the dash to turn off the tap is only something like five steps. 

3. Seeing one of my Korean friends at lunchtime - one of those unexpected pleasures that life brings. Had wanted to see her but had not thought I had time today, then plans changed and suddenly I had time for a visit - too short, but still good. 

4. Sitting and chatting with foreign friends in the late afternoon. One of those winding chats that go everywhere and cover all sorts of randomnesses. 

5. Playing Monopoly Deal with the hospitalised friend - I won the first game, he won the second and Dorothy lost both :-)

6. Discovering our friend had brought a picture if his favourite lady - who is currently overseas - to the hospital with him. Some people are just too romantic. 

7. Having a lovely wonderful chat with one of my favourite foreigners on the train coming home from visitation ^^

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 98 - Flexiblity

One theory I have about happiness is that flexibility is an essential aspect of staying happy. 

Life happens and if you are able to bend and go with the flow with out being disjointed you will be much happier. I figure just accept and enjoy the moments life brings and try not to mourn about the moments you feel life has deprived you of - because mourning takes up time that would be better used enjoying the good things/times :-) and there are always good things/times if we are looking for them. 

On Sabbath - yesterday - I was planning to join a couple of friends for dinner, but that plan was cancelled due to circumstances and so instead of a nice restaurant dinner I found myself almost an hour out of Seoul with different friends, eating kimbap from a foil wrapper, and commiserating with a friend who is in hospital with pneumonia. He is getting better. 

We tried to talk him in to coming out of hospital with us and wandering around the town in his hospital pj's, jandals and IV pole. This is something I have often seen Koreans doing, and as they say "When in Korea, do as the Koreans do."

We final convinced him to come, but then the nurse nixed our plan. Apparently one of the drugs on the IV pole requires that he stays in the hospital. 

Here is a picture of him just outside the front door waving goodbye as we went in search of dinner ...

Hence we ended up with foil wrapped kimbap for dinner that we brought back to the hospital to eat with our convalescent friend. 

Not the plan I started the day with, but still a happy thing. 

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 97 - Ruth

Friday - the best Fridays are the ones where my friends join me for a bible Study. 

This week three of my friends came. We've started a study of the book of Ruth.  I had a different plan, but it changed :-) 

We had delicious snacks, homemade hummus amongst other things,  good conversation and we got to read one of the best stories in the Bible. 

Definitely a Happy Day. 

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 96 - Art Excursion

So I'm in catch up mode again ^^. Thursday's happy thing, my grade at school did not have Normal Day on Thursday. They had an art competition. 

What this means is that we all toddled down to the river behind the school, each student with a black art folio in hand. When we arrived at the river the students proceeded to unpack. Most if them had small ground sheets so that they did not have to sit on the ground, but I also saw quite large boards that came out of the folio to be used for pressing on while drawing, cell phones and iPads or cameras to take pictures of the scene, bottles of frozen water, hats, and in one case a table ... These kids take their competions very seriously. Some of them told me they had been down at the river the night before practicing drawing their picture. 

We stayed at the river for two hours and then the kids packed all their stuff - including the table - back into their folios, and we headed back to school. 

At a school the kids spent the rest of the day painting what they had drawn - and I got to spend the day getting ahead with my paperwork. Always a good thing :-)

Between the Happys: Running the Guantlet.

I know it's very bad of me to be amused by another countries political campaigns but I have to confess that I am exceedingly amused. 

I've found out that the election coming up is for Seoul Mayor which is one of the top spots on the country seeing as about half the population of Korea live in Seoul. 

I surmise that my area is a hotly contested seat as people have been campaigning here for almost two months and the election is still around three weeks away. There was a cessation of 'hostilities' for a few weeks after the sinking of the ferry. But this week they were back in full force. 

This morning things ramped up another notch. There was a truck next to the subway entrance with signs, speakers pictures, etc. In the ally leading to the subway entrance there were rows of bowing ladies,  groups of three, all dressed in matching clothes, some rows in red, some in blue - the colours of the two main parties - and a few in white. They were also at the top of the stairs down into the subway, and at the landing where you transfer from the stairs to the escalator. Tomorrow I'm fully expecting them to be at the bottom of the esculator too.  

Generally a row of blue would be angled to be almost facing a row of red. One row will bow and chant something which I assume translates to "Vote for us, we're great." And then the opposing row would immediately reply with their own bow and chant. I should mention that when a row bows they all bow together. 

Sprinkled amongst the rows of bowing ladies are the candidates and their main men also dressed in red or blue and wearing sashes proclaiming their pertinent statistics. They also bow and hand out business cards. 

Now as the resident foreigner in the area I'm highly recognisable, but what surprises me is that instead of ignoring me since I can't vote they all make an extra extra effort. The rows of bowing chanting ladies bow and chant, the besashed candidates attempt to shake my hand or wave and show off their English prowess by greeting me in English and everybody tries to give me their card. And I nod and smile and shake and try to avoid taking and get into the station as fast as I can. 

Only three more weeks. 

And we get a holiday for the actual Election Day :-D

PS No picture with this one because I'm not quite brave enough to stop and take one ...

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 95 - Oreo Moons

Today I was teaching the phases of the moon. I got the kids to make diagrams showing the different phases in relation to the sun. We used Oreos as the building materials. I've never seen the kids so involved or working so fast. Of course the promise that they could eat their Oreo at the end may have had something to do with it. 

Here are some of the results:

This next group had some Oreo casualties ... victims to poor planning - they ended up with a large number of New Moons, ie one side with no icing. That happened because every kid decided - without consulting the other members of the group - that they would be the one to make the New Moon and hence licked the biscuit clean ...

And finally the instant my commendation was achieved ...

Going for the kill!

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 94 - Promises

One thing that makes me inordinately happy are the promises God has made me in the Bible. So many amazing promises for all situations, and I've learned to trust His word. He's never let me down and I know He never will. 

My two current favourite promises focus on the phrase "... is able to..." 

Hebrews 7:25 

Wherefore also he is able to save to the uttermost them that draw near unto God through him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them. 

And

Jude 1:24-25

Now unto him that is able to guard you from stumbling, and to set you before the presence of his glory without blemish in exceeding joy, to the only God our Saviour, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and power, before all time, and now, and for evermore. Amen.

The bit that gets me in both of these texts is "is able to" Jesus is able to save me to the uttermost and He is able to guard me from stumbling and keep me pure. That is a great comfort. And if He can do it got me He can definitely do it for you. 

God Bless one and all ^^

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 93 - Blasts from the Past

My happy thing today was one of my old students from LAC days contacting me on Facebook. I haven't heard from him in forever. Was such a nice surprise. But I have no pictures ... However here is a picture of LAC well the cafeteria, the gym, a tree or three, and the shade area anyway. 

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 92 - Happy

1. Talking to my Mum in the phone. 

2. Chatting with friends on Facebook. 

3. Using ingredients and implements my friends gave me when they left Korea to bake biscuits (cookies for the Americans).

 

Very very tasty - lemon and almond flavoured. My school lunches are sorted. :-)

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 91 - Sabbath

Sitting on the lawn in front of church singing hymns with my friends. I love hymns. And I love my friends. 

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 90 - Open Day

Friday: we had open day at school for the foreign teachers. That means that all day the classes were open for anyone who wanted to come and watch us teach. In reality that means parents - and as it turns out other teachers. (Afterwards one of the Korean teachers from another grade told me she had come and watched my lesson and really enjoyed it - which is a good thing ^^)

Was very daunting teaching in front of the mothers. I tried to pretend it was like teaching in front of the ERO inspectors in NZ. (ERO = Education Review Offoce, they come and evaluate every school in the country every three to five years.) But, the problem is that for ERO inspectors watching a class is just a job. For Mothers it's personal - that's my kid your teaching. 

My Happy thing from the day was that the Mothers were happy with my teaching. They fill in an evaluation sheet as they watch you. They can evaluate you as poor, average, good, great or excellent. The worst score I got was a straight row of goods. And I got lots of straight rows of excellents. 

Here for the picture part of the post is one of the forms - the Mother wrote a comment in Korean. I'm told it's good ^^

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 89 - Warmth

Today my happy thing is this ...

... My hot water heater. It keeps the water hot. I love long hot showers. This morning I woke up to a flashing orange light, icy cold water and a very fast sponge bath. This evening my upstairs neighbour and I went exploring. We found the boiler for my apartment and refilled the tank. Now the flashing orange light is gone, and I have nice warm water again.  In winter this magic divice of scientific technology also makes my floor it warm like a huge electric blanket - only made of hot water pipes and concrete , instead of fabric and electric wireing ...

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 88 - Neighbours

Not counting the people who live in my building (who are lovely) I have come to know four other people who live in my lane. 

Two of them are the husband and wife who run the corner shop, they are always very helpful when I go in with my tiny Korean and my pictures of what I want to buy. 

The third is the old man who lives across the alley from me. He steals my rubbish. He is apparently a strong supporter if recycling and while I do divide my rubbish (trash for Americans) he roots through it and takes all the bits he wants. I think he probably sells it to a recycling centre. 

Finally there is an old lady who lives on the first floor (the next one up from ground level) in a building at the other end of my lane. I see her shaking the blankets out her window most mornings as I'm going to work. In the last couple of weeks she has started smiling and waving to me as I go past. So of course I smile and wave back. Today she was waiting when I came. She leaned out and dropped a small bag if candy down to me. That was unexpected. But nice. :-)