Maybe my favourite feature of the stats is where it shows me which postings have been most popular in the last week/day/now. Quite often I'll go back and reread the posts that are listed. In some ways it's like reading past pages in my diary. (Yes I keep a diary too, for those things that I want to remember but I don't want to make public to the world. But I will confess I don't write in it very often. Lol - I have very few secrets, I much prefer to live my life out loud.)
Anyway this morning I was looking at the stats and the post I ended up rereading was my testimony of how God has worked in my life. I posted it about two years ago. What struck me most forcefully was the fact that God has not ceased working. I have changed from the person I was then. I'm not perfected or finished by any means, but I can see the progress.
Take for example fear. All my life I have been afraid of men. Some men barely worried me, others scared me so much that I couldn't stay in the same room as them. But God has healed that. I've watched Him do it over the last few years and been amazed.
The funny thing is that when I stressed about it and prayed and focused on it the fear seemed to grow. But when I prayed and gave it to God and then refused to think about it, the fear shrunk and has slowly disappeared. In the last year I think I've only had one fear reaction.
That was maybe 6 weeks ago, I ended up shouting at a man in the subway station and then running (literally) away. Turns out I have quite an impressive turn of speed. That incident really upset me. Not because of the man, but because I reacted in fear when I thought I had been fixed. (And because I shouted, that shocked me, I haven't shouted at anyone in almost 20 years.) However thinking about it later I came to two conclusions.
One was that it was an example of healthy fear. Sometimes we should be afraid, healthy fear is meant to protect us.
The second thing I concluded was that that man did not mean to scare me. I think it was a clash between Korean culture and my culture. So I will grow from this incident too.
Now for those few people who read my blog reguarly, you may or may not remember that a few months ago I said that I had made some big decisions/changes.
One was that I have joined a dating website. Sadly to date that has been a big bust, my computer is not working so well and for some reason the website keeps locking me out. I'm planning to buy a new computer in the next few months and I'll try again then.
The second change/decision is that I've decided I'm going to go out on a date, at least once, with any guy (SDA) who asks me. Am not expecting, or even wanting to marry the first guy who asks me out, lol. But I kind of feel like I'm growing up. Guess I'm just a late (very late) bloomer.
Anyway I see this all as evidence of how God is working in my life, bringing me slowly and gently to experiences that have stretched my confidence, built my trust, and quieted my fears.
Now I have several good male friends, two or three years ago I had none. I spend time with these friends in groups and individually. Two or three years ago to be alone with a guy was unthinkable. Men were creatures to be ignored.
The funny thing is that each of these male friends treats me as some kind if agony aunt. They tell me the trials and tribulations of their love lives. It's very interesting. I've learned that guys are just as messed up as girls.
Anyway the take home message from this is that God is still on the throne, that we can trust Him, that He works in our lives according to His timetable, and that I know my life story is going to work out in a way that will bring glory to Him.
And that when the fair maid gets out of the way God will happily slay the dragon.
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